I say endured not because I've had a bad year, but because I'm on the clock. This October marks the second year gone of our three year penalty time.
You remember why we are in penalty time, eh?
It's also over a year since I started my new job.
My first niece will be 2 this December - I got to meet her for the first time last week - she lives in Australia.
It feels like we are no closer to ever realizing the dream of having children. My children, our children. Not step-children. They're nice but they are not enough to fill this immense void.
I was watching a science-type program called Invisible Worlds hosted by The Hamster, and it showed how if you use different wavelengths of light you can see different things. Like using infrared or UV or X-rays. Then it occurred to me that if ever there was discovered a type of light that could detect IF sadness, surely it would not show light at all, but rather big hazy heavy choking black clouds weighing people down.
I'm feeling more helpless than normal. My life feels overall like it's good, but just so unfulfilled and purposeless. Several times over the past couple of weeks Hubby has mentioned that he hopes we can become parents soon. The thing is, it's not just the money (or distinct lack of it) which bothers me, but also the fact that I've just turned 29. Had a lovely birthday but tinged with deep sadness for me, as 29 is when fertility slowly starts to decline. Now I'm genuinely worried that when our time is all waited that we simply won't be able to have kids. At all. Because a stupid form said we were 5 points short of a threshold. I don't know if I could handle having my hope ripped away from me like that.
Hope is what keeps my head up, and stops me collapsing. That and staying so goddamn busy that i have no time to think about IF.
/ end of wah
I was limping today. Shin splints. Or compartment syndrome. Or a stress fracture. I have no idea how this happened - I walk up a 5 min hill to work and down again at night, but that's about the sum total of my regular exercise. I'm not off sprint training on the sly or anything! Anyway right shin feels like there is an icicle being driven into it when my ankle flexes down. And up. So stairs and hills are my enemies right now.
It's spring and I've been planting strawberries.
It's also the RWC here in NZ, so everyone is mad with rugby fever. Don't tell anyone but I've watched all the All Blacks games so far!
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Spectacularity
So I've had another big week:
1. My father-in-law has moved into a local rest home. He's looking better than I've seen him in months. MIL is another story...
2. We bought a new car. A minivan. Picked it up last Thursday.
3. Which was also the day hubby and I got on a plane and travelled to Auckland for 3 days of design conference, circus, casino, restaurants, shopping, and room service. Highly recommend!
4. I nearly electrocuted myself. I was sitting in my leather recliner in the lounge, with the footrest up. Hubby said something about a cuppa tea, so I went to put the footrest down - when BANG!! Big blue flash, lights out. Hubby asked "are u still alive?" I was thinking, oh god! I've crushed my work Macbook! Turns out the metal mechanism of the chair footrest had just sliced through the power cable, and with 240 volts here it made a nice blue flash n bang! MacBook wasn't plugged in, so it's fine. Power supply was plugged into wall and is fried. I was saved by the padding in my chair.
5. You can hate me for this next one: I won an iPad 2. Yup. Hasn't arrived yet so I'll believe it when I see it. But wowee!
6. Have just been dropped home by a kind colleague as I fainted at work. A group of us staff were out meeting a new supplier, getting the whole sales pitch. 6th floor, no air con, standing for over an hour, not enough water at lunch, low salt diet, naturally very low blood pressure, ACE inhibitors (to protect ze kidneys) = I fall down. Very embarrassing. Strange, cos my first reaction was that I was having a terrible low. Cold sweats, weakness, spinning feeling, nausea. To do a test and find I wasn't low sent me into a bit of a panic. I was normal people sick. I didn't know how to fix this! Juice wouldn't make it better!!! They gave me water and had me sit, then lie in the recovery position. Felt like a silly litte girl with the vapors. Godamit I do public speaking (teaching) for a living! I'm NOT supposed to fall down. And if I do, only diabetes has earned that right - to make me fall down :P
Currently at home in bed, mid arvo, wondering why I'm not doing something more productive.
Oh, and 7. My hubby's brother, his wife, and My First Niece EVAH are coming from Aussie to stay on Monday :) yay! I can't wait to meet my niece :) it's gonna be interesting to see how I react to having and adorable 2 yr old around the place. I know I will love her, but I sense it will also break my heart more.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
1. My father-in-law has moved into a local rest home. He's looking better than I've seen him in months. MIL is another story...
2. We bought a new car. A minivan. Picked it up last Thursday.
3. Which was also the day hubby and I got on a plane and travelled to Auckland for 3 days of design conference, circus, casino, restaurants, shopping, and room service. Highly recommend!
4. I nearly electrocuted myself. I was sitting in my leather recliner in the lounge, with the footrest up. Hubby said something about a cuppa tea, so I went to put the footrest down - when BANG!! Big blue flash, lights out. Hubby asked "are u still alive?" I was thinking, oh god! I've crushed my work Macbook! Turns out the metal mechanism of the chair footrest had just sliced through the power cable, and with 240 volts here it made a nice blue flash n bang! MacBook wasn't plugged in, so it's fine. Power supply was plugged into wall and is fried. I was saved by the padding in my chair.
5. You can hate me for this next one: I won an iPad 2. Yup. Hasn't arrived yet so I'll believe it when I see it. But wowee!
6. Have just been dropped home by a kind colleague as I fainted at work. A group of us staff were out meeting a new supplier, getting the whole sales pitch. 6th floor, no air con, standing for over an hour, not enough water at lunch, low salt diet, naturally very low blood pressure, ACE inhibitors (to protect ze kidneys) = I fall down. Very embarrassing. Strange, cos my first reaction was that I was having a terrible low. Cold sweats, weakness, spinning feeling, nausea. To do a test and find I wasn't low sent me into a bit of a panic. I was normal people sick. I didn't know how to fix this! Juice wouldn't make it better!!! They gave me water and had me sit, then lie in the recovery position. Felt like a silly litte girl with the vapors. Godamit I do public speaking (teaching) for a living! I'm NOT supposed to fall down. And if I do, only diabetes has earned that right - to make me fall down :P
Currently at home in bed, mid arvo, wondering why I'm not doing something more productive.
Oh, and 7. My hubby's brother, his wife, and My First Niece EVAH are coming from Aussie to stay on Monday :) yay! I can't wait to meet my niece :) it's gonna be interesting to see how I react to having and adorable 2 yr old around the place. I know I will love her, but I sense it will also break my heart more.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Massive week
My husband has been violently ill no less than eight times this week. The step kids are staying with us, and now eldest step son has it. :(
The big news has been that my father in law moved into a rest home on Friday. He'd been in and out of hospital, fallen twice, had 4 blood transfusions, heart failure, dysentery, and one ambulance ride in the 3 weeks leading up to the resthome. He's 83.
I'm 28.
Mother in law has not been coping well.
I've been getting sick too. I was up until 2am last night, finishing a major website. I got it launched but now I've absolutely crashed. Sore throat, ears, aches, snotty snout. Wah. :(
We have been on the look out for a new (used) car for hubby. A minivan. I honestly expected to have my own kids in my first minivan. Not just step kids. But they are aged 10, 14, and 16 now, so it's hard to fit everyone in a sedan. We found a suitable minivan today and told the carsales-dude we'd buy it. I will organize a car loan this week.
Tomorrow I will be with some of the other tutors from work at the annual careers expo. Our art dept has a booth and I will be on my feet "selling" our courses for 6+ hours. With a cold. Makes sense. Last time I was this sick I was in the welcome line to hongi at the powhiri!! For those of you who not from New Zealand, Google those 2 words :)
Anyway, I should have more time to blog now that massive web project has launched. So you should hear from me more often. Hope that suits! Lol :P
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
The big news has been that my father in law moved into a rest home on Friday. He'd been in and out of hospital, fallen twice, had 4 blood transfusions, heart failure, dysentery, and one ambulance ride in the 3 weeks leading up to the resthome. He's 83.
I'm 28.
Mother in law has not been coping well.
I've been getting sick too. I was up until 2am last night, finishing a major website. I got it launched but now I've absolutely crashed. Sore throat, ears, aches, snotty snout. Wah. :(
We have been on the look out for a new (used) car for hubby. A minivan. I honestly expected to have my own kids in my first minivan. Not just step kids. But they are aged 10, 14, and 16 now, so it's hard to fit everyone in a sedan. We found a suitable minivan today and told the carsales-dude we'd buy it. I will organize a car loan this week.
Tomorrow I will be with some of the other tutors from work at the annual careers expo. Our art dept has a booth and I will be on my feet "selling" our courses for 6+ hours. With a cold. Makes sense. Last time I was this sick I was in the welcome line to hongi at the powhiri!! For those of you who not from New Zealand, Google those 2 words :)
Anyway, I should have more time to blog now that massive web project has launched. So you should hear from me more often. Hope that suits! Lol :P
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Sunday, July 24, 2011
I want OFF this damn rollercoaster! Can you help?
Next week the students come back and I will be in teaching mode again. That will be exhausting but challenging work which I'm looking forward to.
The week just gone has been absolutely frenetic, with last minute course prep (still not done, and it's Sunday!), moving the entire Art department into a newly refurbished facility, oh yeah, and 3 days of compulsory academic staff training!! It's been super nuts.
I know my diabetes control has been degrading. It's like, seriously crappy at the moment. Here's the last 7 days for you:
(Apologies for having to twist your neck to see that!)
As you can see, I'm all over the map. There are some trends, which I guess are a blessing as it may just mean the Lantus (basal) dose is screwed up:
Massive peaks and troughs = massive headaches, tiredness, grumpiness, and brain-fogginess :(
So what I'm doing about it is some intensive tracking and analysis to see if I can figure out where the hell I'm going so wrong. I've just purchased Diabetes Diary for iPhone and that's where I got the pretty graphs. Have to say that so far, I'm liking this app the best of all. And I've tried most of them!
I'd been using the Insulin Calcilator app, made by the same folks (http://www.fridayforward.com/) for nearly a year now and I credit it with a 1.5% drop in my HbA1c, so I figured their diary app was worth a shot too. I like how the two apps work together. I can take a bloodsugar test, enter the results into the Insulin Calculator, then just press a button and it transfers all the data across to the Diabetes Diary, where I can add more info and make adjustments. Cool eh? :)
I think it's really good that I'm back in intensive analysis mode, because if 10+ bloodsugar tests a day aren't giving nice smooth control there must be something else going on. And I can't find it without graphs, averages, and data to help me.
Let's be clear: I test constantly. I inject semi-religiously, and I track it all in my paper log book:
But that doesn't give the instant clarity of a graph, or the insight of weekly averages. I hope this system helps. I suspect it will. I've done this intensive analysis thingy before and it has always had positive results, even if only minor.
BTW, if you can spot any major issues for me by looking at the graphs, please let me know in the comments. All help on nutting this one out is appreciated. :)
I take Lantus twice a day (11u breakfast, 9u dinner), and bolus with Humalog. I'm incredibly sensitive to changes in insulin, and am on child-size doses of Humalog. My I:C ratio is 1:14. I eat between 90 - 180g carbs per day including emergency food like juice and stuff. I walk, weather permitting :P And I work hard and get pretty stressed out at times, which never helps. Anything else you would like to know so you can help, let me know in the comments. Cheers everyone.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
The week just gone has been absolutely frenetic, with last minute course prep (still not done, and it's Sunday!), moving the entire Art department into a newly refurbished facility, oh yeah, and 3 days of compulsory academic staff training!! It's been super nuts.
I know my diabetes control has been degrading. It's like, seriously crappy at the moment. Here's the last 7 days for you:
(Apologies for having to twist your neck to see that!)
As you can see, I'm all over the map. There are some trends, which I guess are a blessing as it may just mean the Lantus (basal) dose is screwed up:
Massive peaks and troughs = massive headaches, tiredness, grumpiness, and brain-fogginess :(
So what I'm doing about it is some intensive tracking and analysis to see if I can figure out where the hell I'm going so wrong. I've just purchased Diabetes Diary for iPhone and that's where I got the pretty graphs. Have to say that so far, I'm liking this app the best of all. And I've tried most of them!
I'd been using the Insulin Calcilator app, made by the same folks (http://www.fridayforward.com/) for nearly a year now and I credit it with a 1.5% drop in my HbA1c, so I figured their diary app was worth a shot too. I like how the two apps work together. I can take a bloodsugar test, enter the results into the Insulin Calculator, then just press a button and it transfers all the data across to the Diabetes Diary, where I can add more info and make adjustments. Cool eh? :)
I think it's really good that I'm back in intensive analysis mode, because if 10+ bloodsugar tests a day aren't giving nice smooth control there must be something else going on. And I can't find it without graphs, averages, and data to help me.
Let's be clear: I test constantly. I inject semi-religiously, and I track it all in my paper log book:
But that doesn't give the instant clarity of a graph, or the insight of weekly averages. I hope this system helps. I suspect it will. I've done this intensive analysis thingy before and it has always had positive results, even if only minor.
BTW, if you can spot any major issues for me by looking at the graphs, please let me know in the comments. All help on nutting this one out is appreciated. :)
I take Lantus twice a day (11u breakfast, 9u dinner), and bolus with Humalog. I'm incredibly sensitive to changes in insulin, and am on child-size doses of Humalog. My I:C ratio is 1:14. I eat between 90 - 180g carbs per day including emergency food like juice and stuff. I walk, weather permitting :P And I work hard and get pretty stressed out at times, which never helps. Anything else you would like to know so you can help, let me know in the comments. Cheers everyone.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Thursday, July 7, 2011
VIDEO: IVF: Lord Winston on private fertility treatment costs
I've just watched this video from the BBC:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-13795110
It's Lord Robert Winston talking about the "massive profiteering" by private fertility clinics in the UK.
I see many parallels with what is going on in the UK with the NZ system, and if what Winston says is true about the amount of "markup" the private clinics are putting on the cost of treatments coupled with the fact that the (UK) NHS often relies on the private clinics' costings (rather than doing their own costings) to set prices for public treatment, then that could also be true for NZ.
It would be VERY interesting for NZ government/politicians/tax payers-at-large to know three things:
1) How much fertility treatment costs
2) How many people are denied (timely) treatment
3) How much the NZ tax payer ends up paying to fund the treatments it DOES fund, since they are pretty much being charged private-treatment costs. (i.e. not "at cost" procedures, but rather, procedures with some form of markup for profit)
4) How many more people could be funded per year in NZ if the NZ tax payer was only charged for funded procedures at COST price, not private prices.
Gosh, it would be good to get some common sense here.
In other news, I'm studying a paper on cultural contexts of learning for my Diploma in Tertiary Teaching. I missed the first class where the other students were asked for homework to bring in an object which represented them / their culture / part of their culture.
People brought along favourite songs, sculptures, photos, foods, tools etc. I missed that first class, so I had not brought anything. My turn came round and I scrabbled in my handbag. Of course! I pulled out my test kit and log book (yup, still use a paper one).
And so proceeded a very cool, very impromptu, and very blow-the-rest-of-them-out-of-the-water talk about type 1 diabetes, how it affects me, and how I use the test kit. I even did a demonstration! (Made sure to ask if anyone was squeamish about blood first). Everyone was a bit stunned that I could talk so passionately like that, but they asked some very interesting questions. We discussed the "Diabetes Police", the difference between Type 1 and Type 2 and how they're different diseases, how it feels to go low, whether finger-pricking hurts, how I am starting to advocate for type 1 diabetics, what I could offer as a teacher to diabetic students on campus, what insulin pumps are, and a bit about the research and clinical trials of Professor Bob Elliot of LCT Global.
It was nice.
And when the next student apologised because her object was a sweet flan, and she was assuming I couldn't have any! Not true! My Mum always said that I can eat pretty much anything, as long as I'm prepared to inject enough for it. I nearly ripped the spoon out of her hand to get a taste! haha. NEVER come between me and a dessert!
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-13795110
It's Lord Robert Winston talking about the "massive profiteering" by private fertility clinics in the UK.
I see many parallels with what is going on in the UK with the NZ system, and if what Winston says is true about the amount of "markup" the private clinics are putting on the cost of treatments coupled with the fact that the (UK) NHS often relies on the private clinics' costings (rather than doing their own costings) to set prices for public treatment, then that could also be true for NZ.
It would be VERY interesting for NZ government/politicians/tax payers-at-large to know three things:
1) How much fertility treatment costs
2) How many people are denied (timely) treatment
3) How much the NZ tax payer ends up paying to fund the treatments it DOES fund, since they are pretty much being charged private-treatment costs. (i.e. not "at cost" procedures, but rather, procedures with some form of markup for profit)
4) How many more people could be funded per year in NZ if the NZ tax payer was only charged for funded procedures at COST price, not private prices.
Gosh, it would be good to get some common sense here.
In other news, I'm studying a paper on cultural contexts of learning for my Diploma in Tertiary Teaching. I missed the first class where the other students were asked for homework to bring in an object which represented them / their culture / part of their culture.
People brought along favourite songs, sculptures, photos, foods, tools etc. I missed that first class, so I had not brought anything. My turn came round and I scrabbled in my handbag. Of course! I pulled out my test kit and log book (yup, still use a paper one).
And so proceeded a very cool, very impromptu, and very blow-the-rest-of-them-out-of-the-water talk about type 1 diabetes, how it affects me, and how I use the test kit. I even did a demonstration! (Made sure to ask if anyone was squeamish about blood first). Everyone was a bit stunned that I could talk so passionately like that, but they asked some very interesting questions. We discussed the "Diabetes Police", the difference between Type 1 and Type 2 and how they're different diseases, how it feels to go low, whether finger-pricking hurts, how I am starting to advocate for type 1 diabetics, what I could offer as a teacher to diabetic students on campus, what insulin pumps are, and a bit about the research and clinical trials of Professor Bob Elliot of LCT Global.
It was nice.
And when the next student apologised because her object was a sweet flan, and she was assuming I couldn't have any! Not true! My Mum always said that I can eat pretty much anything, as long as I'm prepared to inject enough for it. I nearly ripped the spoon out of her hand to get a taste! haha. NEVER come between me and a dessert!
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
If you are Type 1 Diabetic I urge you to watch this documentary...
...and watch it quick! You only have 4 days before it becomes unavailable online.
http://tvnz.co.nz/xeno-a-cure-for-diabetes/video-4261364
This show screened on New Zealand TV last Sunday, and you can watch it by the magic of the interwebs at the link above.
It's all about the work of Professor Bob Elliot, and the research his company LCT Global is doing into Xeno-transplantation of (pig) islet-cells into humans.
Short summary for you who are not planning to watch the video:
Work is busy, with grading, teaching extra classes, and preparing to move office in the next 3 weeks. We are getting a whole bright new shiny art facility built - can't wait to move. New digs have: duh-duh-daaaaa! Air con!!! Yay! :)
My freelance work is going nuts. I'm getting website projects coming out of my ears. This week alone I've encountered 5+ websites that need buildin' and have quoted on two of them. When I will actually find time to make them is still a question I haven't solved.
In sad news, my father-in-law has been admitted to hospital today with bad anaemia. He is 82 (I think) and has taken a hammering with health problems in the years I've known him. He's such a sweetie and he really doesn't deserve this. Please send your good thought and prayers for him to recover.
So.... go and watch that documentary. Now! (Sorry to shout, but it's like, real important eh.) And share it with your mates. Cool.
http://tvnz.co.nz/xeno-a-cure-for-diabetes/video-4261364
This show screened on New Zealand TV last Sunday, and you can watch it by the magic of the interwebs at the link above.
It's all about the work of Professor Bob Elliot, and the research his company LCT Global is doing into Xeno-transplantation of (pig) islet-cells into humans.
Short summary for you who are not planning to watch the video:
- The show follows one clinical trial patient as she goes through the work up and procedure.
- Apart from the sensationalist made-for-TV title of the documentary, this is not actually being promoted as a cure, rather, it's hoped that the encapsulated islet cells will work to remove the roller-coaster style fluctuations, and reduce hypo-unawareness. So far, so good in the trials anyway!
- I personally thought that some parts of the "living with diabetes" spiel had been ramped up a bit, but then, the candidate has many similarities with my own story. I will leave you to make up your own mind.
- LCT Global has just started more clinical trials in Argentina, to determine the best dosage. Seems like they have got the big OK on the safety issue.
- You can sign up for their email newsletter, which gives updates on where this technology is at, and how soon before it gets to "market".
- That's another thing to consider... if this treatment does become available, how expensive will it be???
- I want! Gimme gimme gimme!
Work is busy, with grading, teaching extra classes, and preparing to move office in the next 3 weeks. We are getting a whole bright new shiny art facility built - can't wait to move. New digs have: duh-duh-daaaaa! Air con!!! Yay! :)
My freelance work is going nuts. I'm getting website projects coming out of my ears. This week alone I've encountered 5+ websites that need buildin' and have quoted on two of them. When I will actually find time to make them is still a question I haven't solved.
In sad news, my father-in-law has been admitted to hospital today with bad anaemia. He is 82 (I think) and has taken a hammering with health problems in the years I've known him. He's such a sweetie and he really doesn't deserve this. Please send your good thought and prayers for him to recover.
So.... go and watch that documentary. Now! (Sorry to shout, but it's like, real important eh.) And share it with your mates. Cool.
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Some grumpy business
Don't you hate it when you think you are doing something good, and someone slaps you in the face for it?
I have been writing this blog for a wee bit now, and it has been both a cathartic journalling exercise for me, and a way to share information with others in the same boat. I'm really passionate about transparency and honesty in the health system, and the NZ infertility system has really left me disappointed.
Just this week, I thought I was coping pretty well. I had a moment where I thought about all the good things in my life and smiled and got the ol' warm fuzzies. Things like my wonderful husband, my cool job, and the fact that I live in one of the most beautiful places in the world. Even if it does rain a bit too much some days!
But then I got a short, snarly email from someone who I've been in contact with (who I shall refer to as "The co-Author) during the course of my infertility journey. He was pissed off. My husband agreed with him. I couldn't see the logic in what he was saying. The problem the co-Author had was that I'd published his emails to me, which included his name.
Well, duh!
I was discussing a report he had co-authored, and the information he provided me was basically what my whole life was focussed on for a good few months at the beginning of this year. A report that identifies him very easily - just Google the name of the report. In other words - he was already well and truly "in the open" about working in the infertility industry. And if I write the name of the report, it's as if I had already written his name. So no, I don't fully understand the grumpiness about it. I certainly don't understand the complete lack of manners.
But, because I am a nice person, I have wasted several hours removing the co-Author's name from my posts. I don't actually see that this will harm my blog's integrity, as my readers can still find out that information if they wish. And hopefully it will satisfy the co-Author's need to remain private. Didn't mean to offend you see. I understand what it's like to be a private person and have important decisions about your life accidentally, unwittingly, unknowingly taken from you. Sound familiar?
Let me get this straight - I did not go out of my way to make anyone unhappy, I just saw that the co-Author's name was already published, so logically, to me, it made sense to continue publishing the name. It didn't even cross my mind that I should censor it. Sigh. Tricky business this, pleasing everyone.
Oh, and the email wasn't exactly complementary either. It insinuated that I have an "agenda" and this only goes to prove my point: discrimination against those made infertile by vasectomy are considered second class citizens in NZ when it comes to accessing funding for treatment.
OK, so I do have an agenda. Yep, it's really well hidden! Guess what? It's TO HAVE A BABY. How hard was that to figure out? :P
Talking to people, such as the co-author, the MP, the many doctors, the HDC advocate etc, none of it is done for fun. It's the only option I can see at this stage in my journey, because I'm restricted from doing anything practical. Like starting treatment. I've conducted myself professionally and have not screamed and shouted at these people, as my heart wanted so badly to do sometimes. So to have one behave so rudely to me is upsetting.
/end rant
In other, nicer news, I took my first group of students on a very successful field trip, and then attended my first graduation ceremony as a tutor rather than a student! How awesome is that?! :)
What about you? Ever had a spat with someone who only knows you via your blog? What did you do?
I have been writing this blog for a wee bit now, and it has been both a cathartic journalling exercise for me, and a way to share information with others in the same boat. I'm really passionate about transparency and honesty in the health system, and the NZ infertility system has really left me disappointed.
Just this week, I thought I was coping pretty well. I had a moment where I thought about all the good things in my life and smiled and got the ol' warm fuzzies. Things like my wonderful husband, my cool job, and the fact that I live in one of the most beautiful places in the world. Even if it does rain a bit too much some days!
But then I got a short, snarly email from someone who I've been in contact with (who I shall refer to as "The co-Author) during the course of my infertility journey. He was pissed off. My husband agreed with him. I couldn't see the logic in what he was saying. The problem the co-Author had was that I'd published his emails to me, which included his name.
Well, duh!
I was discussing a report he had co-authored, and the information he provided me was basically what my whole life was focussed on for a good few months at the beginning of this year. A report that identifies him very easily - just Google the name of the report. In other words - he was already well and truly "in the open" about working in the infertility industry. And if I write the name of the report, it's as if I had already written his name. So no, I don't fully understand the grumpiness about it. I certainly don't understand the complete lack of manners.
But, because I am a nice person, I have wasted several hours removing the co-Author's name from my posts. I don't actually see that this will harm my blog's integrity, as my readers can still find out that information if they wish. And hopefully it will satisfy the co-Author's need to remain private. Didn't mean to offend you see. I understand what it's like to be a private person and have important decisions about your life accidentally, unwittingly, unknowingly taken from you. Sound familiar?
Let me get this straight - I did not go out of my way to make anyone unhappy, I just saw that the co-Author's name was already published, so logically, to me, it made sense to continue publishing the name. It didn't even cross my mind that I should censor it. Sigh. Tricky business this, pleasing everyone.
Oh, and the email wasn't exactly complementary either. It insinuated that I have an "agenda" and this only goes to prove my point: discrimination against those made infertile by vasectomy are considered second class citizens in NZ when it comes to accessing funding for treatment.
OK, so I do have an agenda. Yep, it's really well hidden! Guess what? It's TO HAVE A BABY. How hard was that to figure out? :P
Talking to people, such as the co-author, the MP, the many doctors, the HDC advocate etc, none of it is done for fun. It's the only option I can see at this stage in my journey, because I'm restricted from doing anything practical. Like starting treatment. I've conducted myself professionally and have not screamed and shouted at these people, as my heart wanted so badly to do sometimes. So to have one behave so rudely to me is upsetting.
/end rant
In other, nicer news, I took my first group of students on a very successful field trip, and then attended my first graduation ceremony as a tutor rather than a student! How awesome is that?! :)
What about you? Ever had a spat with someone who only knows you via your blog? What did you do?
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