Birth Story: part 1

It's been over 8 weeks since the birth of our daughter, the Tiny Fish. She is glorious and gorgeous and has the most delicious cheeky smile.

I've found a rare moment of quiet time where she is asleep, I am awake enough to type, and all is calm in our house. So I'm going to put down a really short and sweet version of my birth story. Before I forget too much.

My waters broke at 3am on 24/6/14. I drenched the bed, the bedroom carpet, hallway carpet, the Lino in the kitchen, porch hallway and then proceeded to flood the toilet floor too. I managed to clean the floor. Went and woke up my Hubby who took a second to click. I put a towel down and went back to bed.

Mild contractions started very gently half an hour later. They I had to get up and spend some quality time in the loo. Then I wondered how in hell I was going to get off the loo and not make another mess and wake my Hubby up again. I had time to download an app to time contractions. Good thing I did too as they were coming fast.

5.30am it was time to phone our midwife. 6.30am we phoned her again and said I wasn't going to be able to wait until 7am and we were gonna go up to hospital now.

We live just down the road from the hospital. I cursed every single one of the speed bumps on the way thru the hospital.

It had been raining. A friendly person in the corridor made a joke about it's gonna be a long night. Or day. We had no clue. Entering the maternity wing and this giant hug of warm air and weirdly soothing elevator music - which turned out to be the first morning alarm on Hubby's phone. We checked in and got room 4. G, a ward midwife looked after us until ours arrived.

Our mw wasn't there yet as she had to travel from a village outside of the city. Her battery went flat so she tried to jump start it and accidentally started a fire. She borrowed a car and it ran very low on petrol so she had to go back home and steal the lawnmower petrol. When she got there at 7.20am I was 9cm dilated already. I couldn't believe I was that far along.

Soon I was allowed to push. I never felt like I couldn't do it. I used breathing, saying out loud "relax everything" in between contractions, and etonox (gas and air). Looking back, I wish I had had an epidural. But nobody could have known what was coming.

Anyway, baby's heart rate was taking a few dips and not recovering very fast so my mw got me up resting over the back of the bed which seemed to help.

I pushed for 2hrs at which point my contractions started to taper off a bit. I personally thought this was delightful as I got a black spell of rest between the contractions. Empty painfree bliss. But apparently that was not good. My mw had me do nipple stimulation to try and get contractions happening with more strength and speed and it worked. But baby wasn't moving. She called in the OB who discovered that my baby's head was turtle-ing. A sign of shoulder dystocia.

My baby would need help. It's heart rate started dropping. The emergency bell was pushed and people flooded into the room. I felt calm under it all as I trusted those around me to take care of me.

First up the OB tried ventouse as baby's head had gone a bit crooked. The cap popped off a couple if times, so she moved on to forceps. And an episiotomy. Boo.

She was pulling so hard. Her foot up on the bed. At last I felt baby's head be born very quickly. And then all the pain of labour suddenly paled and was completely overwhelmed by this new thing which was just so big and massive I didn't know how to feel it. The pain was so incredible and multi faceted and discordant. I could feel my bones. Tiny Fish's shoulders were stuck. I remember writhing? Screaming noises I didn't know we're human let alone me. So high those noises. The OB working frantically. Eyes shut, open just for glimpses. The intense unbelievable indescribable feeling of pushing and actually feeling the resistance akin to pushing against a concrete wall. It was just not gonna move. The OB did the Woodward screw manoever where she had to get hold of an arm and spin the baby.

A huge movement and then the biggest physical and mental relief I've ever felt.

Tiny Fish was born arm-first at 10.29am. After 5hrs10mins of labour.

She landed on my chest and lifted her head and opened her black, disgruntled eyes and looked at me I will never forget that look. She was purple and wet and had hair that wasn't as black as I'd expected. The mw checked if she was a boy or girl. She was there about ten minutes I'm told but I kept blacking out so it felt like only 30 seconds. I have two memories of her on my chest: eyes and gender. My third memory is seeing her across the room on the baby bed where 3(?) paediatricians are working like mad over her with an oxygen mask. But I knew she would be fine cos she looked at me. And besides, what newborn can lift their head defiantly as their very first act? She did cry but I can't recall what it sounded like.

My husband. By my side helping me through. Together. Just being pure love. He always knew what I needed. I always cry thinking of what he went through that day, and the strength he has.

Tiny Fish had to go to NICU for potential breathing issues and hypoglycemia. I had brought along a small amount of expressed colostrum for her to have.

The OB was trying to sew me up. The midwives were massaging my tummy. There was blood on my thigh. Legs up in black leather stirrup things. Lithotomy position my birth notes say. Nurses were putting more IV lines in. Everything was hurting again. I was still having to breath through the pain. The placenta came but it was incomplete. I remember someone asking a nurse to measure the blood loss. 2 litres. Enough to warrant a trip to theatre to get stitched up. An episiotomy and a 3rd degree tear. When I asked how many stitches I had received later, the OB said she didn't bother counting.

Getting ready to go to the operating theatre was strangely calm after that. I got terrible shakes and said I was cold so they bundled me up in white. I had to shimmy across to another bed to make the long trip to the other end of the hospital. From the old wing to the new.

Hubby went out to meet my parents who had been waiting in the waiting room. Worried as they could hear everything. When he came back in the room he surveyed all the blood and fainted.

My parents met me as I was leaving the delivery suite. Tears and smiles and kisses and hugs. They would go to neonates and watch over their first grandchild.

Then there was the strange calm of being wheeled down endless corridors, fluorescent lights overhead. It was mid morning and the day was a drizzly grey winters morning. Fog and condensation on the windows. In pre-op Hubby couldn't come in so he went back to be with our daughter. My midwife was allowed to accompany me into theatre. I had 3 anaesthetists, one of whom has T1D and wanted to know all about my pump and Dex (diabetes stuff all went fine, in case you were wondering). The OB stitched me up and I woke up in post-op recovery so terribly thirsty. But content. I knew she was fine. I knew Hubby was with her. I was alive. I got what I wanted: everybody healthy and alive.

My mw came and said that she had arranged it so that I could be wheeled right into the NICU to meet my daughter again. I have never wanted to be wheeled faster. The urge to try and jump off the bed and hurry towards her. But I was so tired and heavy.

Euphoria.

She was in an incubator. Someone got her out and laid her on my chest. She looked up at me with bleary eyes. She had massive bruising from the forceps and ventouse. Her head was a beautiful round shape. Black eyes. And torn skin from the forceps. She still has a scar even now.

And then I was put into a room to recover. That will be the next part, cos the story is not over yet.

~~~Happy birthday, my sweet one. You are so wanted. Mummy and Daddy love you. Xoxo

She is here!!!!!!

I went into early-term labour spontaneously at 37w4d, 3am on Tuesday morning.

Our beautiful daughter was born healthy at 10.29am later that same morning. Both now doing well after a somewhat rocky start, details on the birth to come later.

Huge thanks to the teams involved in our care and well-being.

Much love, Kaitake.

21w3d Midwife appointment and HbA1c

This HbA1c result really blew me away!

Two lots of good news: my HbA1c is the lowest it has ever been. In fact, it's so low that I don't believe it, but when I think of all the hard work I have done working with my Diabetes Nurse Educator and learning about using the advanced pump features, I realise that it is justified. I am so very happy with this number because, unlike the last HbA1c test I had, this one is not caused by masses of low blood sugars. Rather this 5.4% has been achieved by massively reducing the range and fluctuations of my blood glucose results. When I used to get high-symptoms at around 15 - 20 mmol, I now get those symptoms at around 9 - 11 mmol. I have acclimatised to this nice, luscious lower blood glucose range and it genuinely makes me feel better (healthier, clear-headed) when I am sitting in the 5 - 7 mmol range. So that is awesome. I never expected I would be able to achieve this. Trimester two must have something to do with it as well I think, plus I have recently taken up swimming. And of course eating a really healthy diet for the Tiny Fish.

And speaking of Tiny Fish, my midwife visited this morning and in her words I'm "doing awesome." It can't get much better than that. My blood pressure is a lovely 100/60, and Tiny Fish's BPM is around the high 140s still. I am getting a load of movement (read: kicks and thumps. None of this "feels like butterflies" stuff haha) and when I told the midwife that I've woken up a couple of times with a rock-hard belly she said those were classic braxton hicks contractions. Already. With the movement starting at 16w she thinks it might be an indicator for an early arrival.... we shall see. I still haven't gotten the info I want about insulin pump protocols during labour for my hospital, but she promised to follow that up for me.

Other medical things on the to-do list in the near future include:

• another midwife appointment
• a second OB appointment
• am waiting on a retinopathy screening appointment (retina photos)
• I will get monthly scans from 28w onwards or so... Should get to see Tiny Fish a lot!

Oh gosh, I haven't done any belly pics for a while (scrabbles about and takes a quick snap of the ever-expanding belly-o-saurus) and..... here you go :)

A bright teal 21w3d Tiny Fish house.

17w2d First Kicks

Our little Tiny Fish has made his/her presence felt. About 16w4d I felt what I thought might be a kick. It was not some subdued flutter or bubbles. It felt like a tapping finger, but inside. The most similar feeling I could describe would be if you tap the inside of your cheek with your finger.

A couple of days after that I was quite sure of what I was feeling and Hubby could feel it too!

Two nights ago I was doing a site change and I suddenly sneezed. I got a right strong internal thumping, and due to my excited yelping Hubby got a nice strong kick on the hand too :)

I'm now getting either kicks or rolling movements every 2+ hours or so. It gets easier to feel when I'm sitting up in bed, or in the recliner with my feet up, or wearing my pants done up (rare, now lol).

It's Sunday night and we've just had a lovely summer BBQ with my parents and the step kids. The two youngest go back to high school tomorrow, with it being the first day of secondary school for the youngest. Eldest step son has finished school and goes to college in April.

My first day of work is tomorrow and although Thursday is a holiday (Waitangi Day) I'm still not sure how I'll handle getting back into the whole work routine - I quite like being able to nap from 2 - 6pm if necessary.

Get to meet the OB on Wednesday, and Tuesday is a training day so it should be a bit of a wasted week.

I did my first ever basal test this morning. My diabetes nurse advised me just to have a carb-free breakfast I think cos she knew a complete fast would be a bit impossible for me - hungry pregnant lady raaaarrr!!! I had 2x boiled eggs, a spoon of peanut butter and a cup of tea. Looking back the peanut butter probably wasn't a good choice cos I went from 5.8mmol to sit around 10 for the entire morning. It was great to see how flat it was on the Dexcom, but I was frustrated not being able to do a correction. I think I should probably repeat this morning segment of the test just to check that the basal is fine and the pb didn't screw up the test too much. Oh well. It wasn't too much of a drama and I'm not worried to repeat it, it just too four mornings to start as I kept going low!!

In other good news, my good friend who has been trying for a baby for ages has just discovered she's pregnant. Very exciting to have someone close to me on this journey too!

I'm just so pleased that Tiny Fish is kicking away in there - it makes me feel so reassured and it just feels so, right. Before, all the weird machinations in my abdomen felt rather alien and strange. Now it finally physically feels like it has purpose.

Here is a belly shot for you. I'm tall, so I'm not sticking out much yet.

13w3d HbA1c

I called to get my latest HbA1c results from my doctor today. They were drawn before Christmas along with all the ante-natal screening bloods.

I present to you my lowest ever reading:

40mmol / 5.8%!!!!!!




This is due to two things: general constant state of low-ish blood sugars caused by being Type 1 Diabetic in my first trimester. And also watching my blood sugar levels like a hawk on the CGM which I've worn constantly since receiving it. Did I mention I loooooove my Dexcom? I honestly don't know how I could have done this without it.

Still having lows pretty predictably in the middle of the night: 4am and 6am. I've recently been gently lowering my basal rates to try and stop these lows so I can get a good sleep. Waking between one and five times a night to pee and/or treat a low is not making me happy. Plus when I do ignore a low (under 4mmol) for more than 5 minutes then my uterus starts to ache! I know! It's obviously The Tiny One telling me to get up and drink juice pronto!

Will try to post again later in the day as I have my 13w NT ultrasound just after lunch today. Cross your fingers and toes that all is ok in there please! Please please please be ok in there Tiny Fish!

12w3d Second midwife appointment

We got to hear the heartbeat tonight! Our midwife R said it could take a while to find the heartbeat using the Doppler, or even be impossible, but our little TF was loud and strong straight away.

It is nestled low down, and R thinks that my uterus has come up above my public bone already. She noted that the pubic bone itself was quite low down.

The appointment was about 1.5hrs and we were able to ask a lot of questions and learn about all manner of things.

We spoke about pre-eclampsia and how it could be detected in me since, as a woman with Type 1 Diabetes, I unfortunately already spill protein in my urine. Thankfully there are other markers of the disease such as high blood pressure. Hubby suggested borrowing my Dad's home blood pressure monitor to test me every couple of days and R agreed that from 28w that would be a good idea. She also told us about some other women she'd worked with who had experienced pre-eclampsia and told us what happened for them.

I still has to do a urine dip stick test for both protein and glucose (!) and surprisingly the protein test came back near-enough to negative. I have no idea how that happened. As expected the glucose test came back 3+, and I offered to do a blood test for her, and showed her the Dex readings but she didn't want them. Sigh. Will keep working on that one!

I have had this nasty head cold for a couple of weeks now. Last night I gave in and took 2x paracetamol which of course threw the Dex readings out for 8hrs :( Boo. R suggested that a trip along to the GP would be a good idea to check I don't have a sinus infection. R said that it is now a bit safer for me to take antibiotics should I need them.

I asked about the pains I've been getting low down just above my hips. These happen especially when I wake up at night and turn over too quickly. Or reach for a tissue because I'm up all night sneezing. Seriously, I was up 6 times last night variously peeing, sneezing, or treating lows. R said they are probably just round ligament pain and completely normal, however if they are low and central then that would be bad. She also advised to roll over with my knees together, and advised not to stand on one foot as it can aggravate a central ligament.

I'm sure we talk about more, but that's all I remember for now. Next appointment will be in about a month.

11w3d Christmas Eve-Eve

Christmas shopping is all finished (hooray) and this evening I put up the tree and then we wrapped all the pressies. Including the first thing ever for our one on the way:



Here is the tree, with massively oversized tinsel star that keeps threatening to tip the whole lot over:



Pregnancy symptoms at 11 weeks seem to be settling down a bit. Over the past 3 or 4 days I've gotten a lot of my energy back. A week ago I set the record at 3 naps in one day, not including the 11.30am sleep in. Then I got a horrendous head cold that featured loud sneezing with nose like a tap.

I have given my cold to Hubby and his Mum, and now I'm feeling better lol :P

Breathing is feeling a bit weird at times, kind of like the feeling you get when the cat is sleeping on your chest.

I've upped my breakfast to be one slice of gluten-free toast with lashings if crunchy peanut butter, a cup of decaf-tea with raw sugar and trim milk, a handful of prunes and a nectarine or a couple of fresh apricots.

I still haven't gained any weight (57kg) but I have reorganized what I've got: arms and face seem a bit skinnier while belly may? Seem? Rounder? we are taking photos but even though I'm frustrated at being stick with hardly any pant to wear and still being a long way away from maternity clothing, there is no obvious "popping" yet.

Getting a lot of lows at the moment, and they generally seem to take double the amount of carbs to get me back to fighting fit. So two juice boxes instead of one. I got so frustrated with juice that I've started eating glucose tablets again :-/

Getting what may be a few food aversions to beef, some chicken dishes that I normally love, and generally being slightly nauseated by awful smells. No real cravings but I do find I must snack or eat meals every 2hrs or so otherwise I feel slightly weird/ill. When I go low I go pale and get tired needing to sit down immediately.

Still having mild trouble with constipation, but can't really complain since I've been doing idiotic things like swapping my pre-natal vitamins from bedtime to morning (not cos I forgot! Honest!).

I got out in the garden for two days and tidied things up in preparation for hosting Christmas lunch for our parents. Kids will be here for breakfast and back for dinner at my parents house.

After over a month of waking at 4am for a low blood sugar that would haunt me until dawn, I finally remembered to actually so something about it. Cue messing with nighttime basal rates at 1am the other night! Result? Flat as a pancake from midnite to 8am woohoo!!! Very proud of me self on that one. Guessing it won't last too long before things all change again.

So, Merry Christmas to all you lovely readers. Have a wonderful day and I hope Santa brings you what you asked for!

P.s. Can I ask you all to say a little wish/prayer for a good friend of mine who is doing clomid treatment right now and has, 2 days before Christmas, got another negative result. She's battling on but getting a little overwhelmed and considering IVF. I really hope her next cycle works and she gets what she's been dreaming of! Thank you! :)

5w4d Third Beta

Just a quick update for you on my third and final Beta HCG test today: 4479 and rising "very nicely" according to the nurse who phoned the result through to me.

It was a bit hilarious at the medlab this morning. They know me by name now, and I know most of the phlebotomist's faces or names. So I was a bit surprised when a teenage-looking boy (let's say 19 - 21) in a lab coat called my name.

A senior technician was there too and she explained that the trainee technician was going to do everything "except the needle" and I was fine with that. The poor dude was so nervous, I think they chose me to be the first real live patient! He did most of the prep fine, but didn't get the tourniquet quite tight enough. He was shaking really badly!! The senior took over and did the blood draw which took a bit of digging. She only got a tiny amount of blood and had to check with another technician if it was enough for the test. It didn't hurt at all which is lucky.

Feeling very hungry most of today - I actually drove to the supermarket at lunchtime from work and got cans of salmon, a bad of nuts/cranberries, croissants, tomatoes and kiwi fruit for lunch (well, it will become several lunches!)

This evening I was still quite ravenous, but immediately after dinner I got so very sleepy. I did a bit of work after dinner but then actually fell asleep in the lounge chair lol. Of to naps for me!

15dp3dt Second Beta (aka 4 weeks 5 days)

Second beta test today came back at 453! Woohoo!

This gives us a doubling time of roughly 42hrs, which is right smack bang in the middle of average.

Got a different nurse on the phone this time, but she sounded very positive and said "it's a good number". The relief I felt when I finally got the call was amazing. As you can tell from my previous post, I was getting a wee bit stressy about it. I was just so unbelievably happy that it came back positive that it was like walking on a cloud for about half an hour. After which time the adrenaline rush wore off and the fatigue set in.

They tested my progesterone too and it is 338 so the nurse said I should start weaning myself off the dreaded progresterone pessaries by dropping the dosage from 2 x 3 times daily, down to 1 x 3 times daily until they run out, or roughly 4 more days. Apparently I am making plenty of my own.

I need to go back in a week (next Tuesday) for another HCG test. The only way I found this out was by refusing to let the nurse hang up on me a la "just one more question!" haha I was determined to get the info out of her! Actually, I think the nurses' office must have been fairly busy, as I could hear other nurses talking to patients on their phones in the background.

I enquired about when is appropriate to enlist an ob/gyn and midwife. Nurse said that the fertility clinic has care of us until the 8 week mark which will be 29th November for me. At that time I should travel back up to Hamilton for my first ultrasound scan. Now, don't get me wrong, I cannot wait for this ultrasound. At about weeks today, I'm about halfway there. These milestones are incredibly important and hold great significance to me and my husband, and all those supporting us. But do I really want to travel over mountains for 3 hrs, have an over night stay, pay for a night in a motel, and book a day off work for two people?? Um, no. I asked the nurse if there was anything special about the ultrasound scan, and she thought about it for a moment, they said "well, there is a radiology place that you could ring and enquire if they would do it, but you would have to pay privately for it, just call and see if you can get an appointment for around the 29th Nov and then let us know so we can send a referral note through to you. They will then need to fax the results back to us." If it's less that the cost of all that travel and missed work, then we'll do it.

I keep thinking it would be great for the fertility clinic to provide a flowchart of procedures and appointments, just a general "what could happen" document. Rather than having to wrangle the info out whenever they choose to phone.

Once I got home Hubby suggested we book an appointment to see our GP this week to get his advice, as we may be able to get the scan for free??? I don't really care too much about paying for it, I just want to know that I won't have to travel. We have an appointment with the GP this Friday so I'm hoping I will learn heaps there!

Some more good news: I got my HbA1c result back. 16 Oct = 45 or 6.3% A slight rise, but this was taken after the transition to the pump (still learning) and before the application of copious amounts of crazy IVF hormones.

Not too shabby.

Went to the two elder step-kids senior high school prize-giving ceremony tonight and they both received awards! Very proud. It was cool with Hubby and I, their Mum and her parents, youngest step-son, and MIL. Some big cheers!

The school hall was packed for the ceremony and it got very hot. I was fanning myself with the paper programme, and started to get some really bad cramps, especially on the right side again but moving all over the place. I felt a bit faint, and figured I just needed to cool down and have some water. Which worked very well.

Thank you everyone for your lovely comments and support. It's wonderful to know you are all out there cheering us on! :D

11dp3dt - 1st Beta HCG

It's good news folks. Yes! Pregnant!

We were waiting and waiting for the call. I was trying really hard to be patient, and since the nurse had said it would be around 2 - 3pm call time, when it ticked over 3pm I started to consider phoning the clinic myself!

Hubby kept me busy by handing me some work (coding, occupies the brain quite well) then we went for a drive to his new work to collect some files for a new project. My sister also works there and when she saw me she meerkat-ed up from her desk and was like "are you..., do you know?" And I had to tell her "no news".

3.45pm: We drove home, and just as we were parking the car Nurse P called! She said "I have some great news, you're pregnant congratulations!" She then went on to say that they like a number over 50 for day 14*, and my bHCG test came back as 94! She was really positive and sounded confident, which has given us confidence to start believing it, a bit.

(* day 14 = what the nurse said, as in I have been counting wrong all these days. It is actually 11dp3dt. Doh.)

The emotions are predominantly shock, relief, happiness, and OMG! We smiled a lot, and Hubby shed a tear and got all giggly! I think Hubby felt the truth of the news much sooner than me, as I am still not having a really strong emotional reaction. But, a part of that is that I have been feeling the symptoms for days now, so I would have been mighty surprised if it came back negative.

Nurse P went on to say that I would need to repeat the test on Tuesday (which will be 15dp3dt or day 18) and they will call again in the afternoon with results.

I have been looking online for beta doubling numbers, and of course Google does not have the answers I am looking for. Namely, what MY result will be!

Diabetes-wise, I had my suspicions that this IVF thing had worked when I started getting low blood sugars in amongst all that progesterone. One of the first ways that a type 1 diabetic is affected by pregnancy is by lows. So, that was actually the first hint. Plus, I am pretty sure I felt implantation, it was sharp like a really bad pulled abdominal muscle. At the time I was pretty sure it would have been too early, but on doing more research I realise it was just about the right time.

So, time to tell people. I had several stern words from family and friends yesterday who have been following and supporting us all through out journey. Mainly they wanted to tell me that I must put them out of their suspense-misery quick smart!

We drove around to my parents place (they both have the week off work which is convenient) but they were out, so I sent them a neutral-flavoured text asking when they would be home. 15 mins, right, see you then.

In the meantime we skipped over to Hubby's Mum's place and she was the first person we told. In the back garden, in the sunshine, with her neighbours looking on :) She gave us both a big hug and looked really, really happy.

Because MIL had mentioned that eldest-stepson was coming to have dinner with her, Hubby thought it would be a good idea to track him down (he works after school at his high school IT dept.) just so both he and MIL could know together for their dinner. We texted him, then went and gave him the news in the school library. He gave us both a big hug and smiled.

Next up, we tried visiting my parents again and they were home with the door wide open. We walked in and I said "We've got good news!" and my Mum just caught me in a big hug. Big hugs all round!

And lastly for the hug-a-thon, we tripped over to the kids' house to tell the two younger step kids, more smiles, hugs, and then we got to see youngest's new bike he's building.

By that time it was nearly dinner time, so Hubby suggested we go out to celebrate. Yay! We went and got Greek food. I was feeling pretty bloated, uncomfortable, crampy, sore, and I just felt so full it almost hurt to breathe. But soooooo happy. We couldn't stop smiling and saying "oh wow!"

While waiting for our meals, I texted a few of my friends who have been following our journey closely, and soon the phone was buzzing so much the waiter was giving me strange looks lol. Then one of my friends who is also TTC started asking me questions like, when does morning sickness start? and I realised I don't know. I then started thinking about all the other things I don't know.

And then, we talked about how both of us have been focusing so much on reaching this goal, that we haven't really considered pregnancy much. I know I haven't. I mean, I know it's coming, it's here, but I have had this superstitious thought that if I ponder what it would be like for me to be pregnant, count my chickens before they hatch etc etc, then I would jinx things.

All this is leading me to believe that I know embarrassingly little amount about actual pregnancy itself. Time to get reading.

And then I thought, what the hell, let's grab a couple of home pregnancy tests. And some antacids. And some more prunes. And chiiiiiiiipies!

My first positive home pregnancy test at 11dp3dt. The line is faint, but it's definitely there!

And, as promised some days ago, here is a beautiful, beautiful picture. This is our embryo at 3 days old, 6 cells.

Our embryo. Love.

Thank you so much to everyone who hoped, prayed, wished us well, and crossed your fingers. All that love your sent must have helped! :D

CD 13: Fertilization report

Happy news! We have 3 good looking fertilized eggs!

Last night I went to visit my parents and got home a bit too late at 10.30pm. Hubby was already asleep! I slept well but was woken rudely by the Dexcom yelling at me that I was low. The first two times the alarm went off, I didn't look at it, rather I dreamed I looked at it and in my dream it said I was high lol. Getting up, doing a test, handling the pump and wobbling about getting juice was not fun, I had pretty much list my balance from a combination of tiredness, hypo, and effects of the sedation and codeine wearing off.

Woke this morning with a really sore throat. I later looked at my throat in the mirror and there are little nodules over my throat :( boo. By tummy felt a lot better and I was comfortable stretching out today. Still had some mild cramping this morning which has since eased, but mainly it feels like I have done a million low-ab crunches.

I took the first of my progesterone pessaries (yuk) called utrogestan, this morning. Little buggers are hard to get into "location"! I feel like I am filling up with little white marbles lol. So far my blood sugars have been going low, which may be a combination of previous hormones wearing off, and tiredness. Not sure if the lows are directly attributable to the progesterone yet, as I normally got higher in that part of my cycle.

Had a shower and by the time I came out into the lounge, Hubby was sitting on the couch with the number for the lab all dialled up and ready to call. We left the embryologist a message and asked her to call back to Hubby's cellphone. With that, we could leave the house knowing we would get the info.

I really wanted a walk, but I knew I wasn't up to that yet. I had read that gentle walking is good to help stimulate blood flow to the endometrium lining so that's another good reason to get up and about.

We had to get a warrant of fitness check for our car and it turned out that we needed a new tyre. At the tyre shop they were able to do it right away so we went for a gentle stroll into town and back for 20 mins. I have never wanted to sit down so badly! But it was excellent to get a walk to loosen up all my muscles.

We took the car back to the testing station and while standing in the carpark, in the glorious spring sunshine waiting for the re-check, we got the call from the embryologist, T.

I suddenly got a rush of worry and trepidation and nerves. Her first words gave no indication of what sort of news she was about to deliver. I was simultaneously deciding that it was bad news and that I wasn't sure what my reaction would be in the carpark, and I was making deals with myself about how many embryos would be "good" or "ok". I was silently hoping for 3.

When she said "it's good news" I just about sank with relief. T went on to explain how out of the 5 eggs, 3 has fertilized normally and looked great, one more had fertilized abnormally and failed to eject one of the DNA halves it needed to, and the fifth failed to fertilize at all. 3!!! Thats a 60% fertilization rate. Yay!!!! It's so amazing to think that we have just created 3 potential people!

The embryologist will phone us again tomorrow about lunch time to tell us how the three of the have grown/not-grown overnight. She will also be able to advise us whether we will need a day 3 or day 5 transfer. Today is day 1. If we need to do a day 3 transfer then we will be back on the road again tomorrow after lunch.

T had previously explained how there are pros and cons with transfers on both days 3 and 5. If there are only a few embryos then a day 3 ET is more likely, however if there are more then they might choose a 5 day ET to grow some on to blastocyst stage. Of course, it might mean that none grow-on, but as she pointed out that would just save us from a 2ww to find out the same result. However she also pointed out that some people believe a day 3 ET is better to grow the embryo in the natural surroundings, so to speak. I am not fussed. I kind of expect a day 3 ET simply because we only have 3 embryos (as of today) but I'm not fussed either way.

My boss and friend at work both know what's going on and they support me, so I will be able to take sick leave for either time. Actually, there's not really an option is there? I mean it's not like you can move this sort of appointment lol!

Symptoms today: I'm generally feeling much better. My brain has mostly returned. The nips have been incredibly tender and almost clenched? Well, painful anyway. They did start to relax a bit today. I had some minor bleeding from the egg retrieval yesterday which is petering out today. All in all I'm feeling... well. :D

I went very high after a lunch with MIL (damned pizza and cake :( boo) and actually slept for a couple of hours. Hubby cooked another lovely dinner of gurnard fish, roast potatoes and a salad with almond and Parmesan on top.

And now we are watching an old James Bond movie :)

CD 12: Egg retrieval procedure

Please forgive me if this post makes less sense than usual, or rambles, as I am still awash with codeine!

Good news! We got 5 excellent looking eggs! I'm really happy with this and the embryologist said they all look the have good membranes.

By now, we may have a 7-hour-old! How crazy is that?

Started off this morning very early with a light breakfast at 5.40am (4hrs prior to OPU) and then napped until 7am. I got up, had a shower, got dressed and we packed up the car and drove over to the fertility clinic at 9am.

As normal we checked in and were given little slips of paper to take across to the other side of the building. Mine said OPU 9.40am (oocyte pick-up) and Hubby's said sperm sample! I told the receptionist that wouldn't be necessary or possible since Hubby had to have TESA sperm retrieval, but on closer inspection the form said "from andrology" so it must just have been a "defrost this please" note lol.

We were in the waiting room long enough for me to look through a couple pages of the morning paper, and then our old nurse came out to take us through to the Pre-op/post-op room with the armchair.

We got talking about diabetes and she told us how she has struggled with T2 and so has her family. It was nice to share with her, and Hubby showed her the Dexcom while I went to the bathroom.
Then started an onslaught of nurses, doctors, embryologists all checking my name and date of birth. I had yet more forms to fill out, and they must have told me all about everything at least thrice.
I was very impressed with the embryologist, T, who told us how she feels a great responsibility to take get time to search for the best quality sperm from a sample, since she is choosing the DNA of our potential future children. We asked her when exactly would the ICSI fertilization take place, and she said she would start the process at 2pm, carefully washing the eggs, then putting then in an acid solution to remove the outer membrane. She would then take her time looking for good quality sperm to fertilize all the eggs with. She reckoned that 2.30pm should be about fertilization time! :D

---- I had a break from writing, got a bit tired! ----

Anyway, after the doctor tried to come in several times only to find the nurse and I were busy chatting (she took my blood pressure too - slightly raised for me), she was finally able to put in the cannula for the IV. I only told her afterwards what a drama it was last time!

It made a lot of difference having a plan to manage diabetes, and having the medical folks take it seriously. I made sure that I remained calm (and I truly never got stressed even when I got locked OUT of the OR! Lol) as it can affect my blood sugars and make them drop rapidly.

Getting the cannula in meant that I could have IV dextrose should I need it, and having the early breakfast ensured I had a "buffer" in the tank. But the Dexcom was the absolute winner on the day. Hubby could hold on to the receiver and manage it, we even practiced with him testing my blood sugar via fingerprick test the night before. We made sure to tell all nurses and the doctor that the alarms might go off and not to panic. We were able to discuss with Dr G how she would give small boluses of 20% dextrose should I go hypo.

I was now in my stylish white hospital-moo-moo gown and I clipped the insulin pump to the neckline. I was told to go to the bathroom one last time, and then it was show time!

When I came out of the bathroom the pre-op room was empty, but I could hear Hubby's voice behind the big wooden spaceship theatre door. They were saying "push the green button!" and once I figured out they were talking to me, I let myself into the OR!

Setup similarly to when Hubby had his sperm retrieval, the bed was on the left and I had to walk around him at the head of the bed, around the ultra-sound machine at the foot, past the hatch to the embryo-makin' lab, and climb on from the other side.
The stirrups were padded, but they still freaked me out a bit. I knew that there would be lots of scary equipment in there so I guess I was prepared for it. I hopped up (carefully this time!) and the two nurses, H and P, kept wanting me to shuffle down the bed. I got my calves in the stirrups and they laid a large white towel across me and asked me to shuffle the bottom of my gown/moo-moo up.

--- got tired again and had some dinner! ---

While one nurse attached a blood pressure cuff to my right arm, and a blood-oxygen monitor to my left index finger (which kept slipping, causing me to adjust it, causing the nurse to scold me for moving my IV arm hehe!), the other nurse was placing black drapes over my legs to keep them warm. They unhooked the "bum" of the bed and suddenly the towel didn't feel like enough coverage lol!

The doctor appeared at the foot of the bed and asked me my weight, she then used this to calculate the dosage of midazolam and fentanyl. The nurse gave me these (and some augmentin antibiotic since I'm T1) and warned I would start to feel loopy. I got a rush of cold choking feeling all up around my neck and got a bit worried, but everyone quickly reassured me that would just be because the medication was cold.
Hubby was right by my side and kept his hand on my right shoulder. :D

The drugs took effect very quickly and I got loopy really fast! I was intent on watching the ultrasound screen - I really wanted to see my eggs! - but it was all mostly hazy. I don't remember seeing the hatch or hearing the embryologist to my right at all, although she was well within earshot.

I felt the ultrasound probe and then the doctor told me to take a deep breath and she went in for the right ovary. There was pain which made me wince, but it was over relatively fast. Two eggs retrieved on the right. I knew I'd seen 3 there the other day so my brain was still working, sort of. I was awake enough to make jokes and be surprised at how awake I was. The sedation was pretty light, but I was really loopy.

Another breath, now the left side. This one was a lot more painful, and it got worse in the seconds following the needle going in, a kind of wrenching movement. I described the nature of the pain later to Hubby as being similar to when you get an intra-muscular injection in your arm, well think of a wider needle, and then imagine you get a really bad cramp in the muscle the moment of the injection. Yes it hurt, but it was very short lived feeling and I got instant relief once the needle was out. I later learned we got 3 on the left side.

It was over! We had eggs! I was really happy to be through it, and to know that it was a calm, happy, exciting experience. Yes there was some pain but it wasn't too bad and it felt like it was only a total of 30 seconds.

It seemed like after all the activity, there was a lull for a minute. The doctor and nurses seemed to vanish out of the room (probably just out of my line of sight) and I recall a kiss with my Hubby and him telling me he loved me and how brave I was. It was pure relief.

Nurse H took my blood pressure one last time and then re-installed the end of the bed and helped me take my legs out of the stirrups. I was unhooked from all the monitors and the nurse put a pad in my knickers and then got me to slide into them while half sitting up.

Then came the slow ascent to sitting up, swinging my legs down to the left. They made me wait until I was steady enough to stand and then Nurse H helped me up and held me steady from behind by each upper arm as she walked me back to the pre-op/post-op room. I sat in the big armchair and she wrapped me up in one of those flannel blanket sheet things. Nurse P brought in a tray of tea, coffee for Hubby, and plain biscuits. The embryologist popped in to say there were a total of 5 high quality eggs retrieved. Dr G came in on a couple of occasions to check on me. Two nurses and the doc all explained on separate occasions how to use the progesterone suppositories which I have take for 5 days at least! Eew!

Oh, the embryologist wrote her direct dial number down as I have to call her at 10am tomorrow (Sat) morning to learn how many have fertilized.

She will also call us on Sunday to advise whether a day 3 or day 5 embryo transfer will be best. Looks like we will be back in Hamilton on Monday or Wednesday!

We waited about an hour then I was awake enough to leave and we went to get lunch at our favorite kitchen. I picked up the prescription for codeine and then we set off home. I took another 2 codeine tablets after the one at the clinic, but the ride home was fairly loopy and dozy, although we were both pretty happy about how well things went.

After the clinic meds and the initial Codeine wore off I got some sharp stabby cramps so took another tab. I have had mild to moderate cramps for the rest of the day, although not too bad. I can walk carefully but no long distances - by which I mean walking from the house to the car is plenty!

It was great to get home and see the pets. My friends and family were all texting me supportive texts, and after a yummy dinner cooked by Hubby, he dropped me around to my parents and my Mum cut my hair for me! Win!

Please cross your fingers, wish me luck, say a little something, or think a happy thought for good news from the embryologist tomorrow! Thank you! :D

The great un-boxing!

So, true to form I couldn't help but take a whole bunch of photos as I un-boxed my new toy:

[spoiler alert: contains gratuitous shots of shiny medical equipment. In pink.]

Click through to Flickr to read the descriptions.

This was by far the biggest and most impressive box of goodies I've ever collected from my pharmacy. All the pharmacists were hovering around like chooks and they seemed very interested in the pump - this being the first one my pharmacy has ever ordered.

I ended up getting the colour I wanted, and it's kind of a reddy-pink which I am already fond of. I am thinking of naming it. Too naff? Do you name yours?

Although I have a huge box of stuff now, I suspect that some bits of my prescription may be missing? I haven't seen the script, but last week my pharmacist was asking me what length needles I wanted - and yet there is definitely no box of old-skool needles amongst my haul. There is also no box of skin-prep wipes, and although I know they have received the script for my 10ml vials of Humalog, I will have to go back and get it cos that is also missing. Grrr.

I did remember to collect a new pottle of 5mg folic acid tablets. I am taking them nightly, along with Elevit and 1000 IU Vit D3 as suggested by my endocrinologist/s both to support pre-natal requirements, and to try and prevent any future offspring getting T1D (that's what the Vit D is all about - although I should really be upping the dose to about 2000 IU by now). Last night I ordered more vitamins online and boy is that stuff expensive! In fact, the vitamins are worse than the insulin pump lol! Yay for government funding. There is NO WAY I would be able to afford this otherwise. Vitamins = $85 vs. Pump and 3 months supplies = $33.

Speaking of expensive things, my parents have kindly offered to purchase the Dexcom system for me. I am very, very grateful for this opportunity, and have called to put in my order today. My pump rep said I could do a one month trial of the Dexcom if I bought one box (4) of sensors, but I am going to buy the transmitter too, and ask if I can trial the Dexcom receiver unit. Since the Vibe pump is a receiver itself I don't technically need the Dex Rx, but it would be good to try it out if I can. Let's just say that this request took three phone calls and being transferred around the call centre in Auckland between about a gazillion people. All very polite, and we got there in the end.

I took my big box of loot around to my parents' place this evening (in the rain) to show them, since they had never seen a pump in person before. Dad and I watched the DVD and OMG is it boring! Such minutiae. Kills you with details and repetition, like being hypnotized. Except I must pay attention or else risk terrible consequences with not being able to work the pump lol. Long story short: do not watch the DVD out of curiosity. It is serious and it is educational. Not something to watch for fun. Certainly, nothing in comparison to Diabetic Danica, Kerri Sparling, Candace, or Kim Vlasnik!

It is now exactly 1 week until I become bionic, and T-minus ~27 days until I start injecting IVF hormon-a-ma-phones. Also, I shall turn 31 (cough) shortly. There will be eating of vast quantities of tasty treats. :D

Our Pre-IVF Appointment

Yesterday we had our pre-IVF appointment in Hamilton. It went very well and Hubby and I are both much more relaxed about the process. :)

We travelled up (3hrs) on Thursday, had an interesting meal at a restaurant named after a lizard, and stayed in a nearly-brand new motel which was superb. Our appointment was for 11.40am on Friday 6th September so after a breakfast at a kitchen over in East-Hamilton, we had some time to kill.

A walk around the lake sounded like a fine idea, but the wind got up and then it got nasty-bitter, so much so that my ears were aching bad :( So we experimented with the navigation app on Hubby's new phone and drove to the botanic gardens which wasn't so windy-pants.

The appointment itself was very good. We learnt a lot and left feeling like the process is truly underway now.

In the waiting room, our old doctor walked in and although she smiled and said hi, she couldn't really look Hubby in the eye. Awkward! :/ For a moment there I thought there had been some mistake and we would still have to see her.

But our new doc, the head of the clinic Dr S came out and greeted us shortly afterwards. He was very friendly and seemed genuinely happy to meet with us. First up, he mentioned how he was familiar with our file and he confirmed that we had now transferred to his care. The relief I felt at hearing this was quite surprisingly strong and I immediately felt confident about our treatment - for I think the first time ever.

Dr S explained that we would be good candidates for a newer IVF regimen. As he put it, at least there was some silver-lining to having to wait so long! So we will be using a drug called Elonva which is a one-shot injection that replaces 7 daily FSH injections. Personally, I don't mind having to do injections (hey, I do about 8 a day already!) but I like the other benefit of Elonva: the action profile seems to make sense to me. He explained how it has been created by taking the FSH molecule, which has a half life of about a day, and combining it with a segment of the hCG molecule which imparts it's 7 day half. He said the results are equivalent or better to what they are seeing as with patients using the traditional daily injections. Oh yeah, and no down-regulation will be necessary with this protocol which means no menopause which is the most terrific news you can give to a woman, let alone a T1D woman! Yay! :D

We discussed my AMH test (which was 9.35 about a year ago) and Dr S advised that I should do another one that day since it would be funded as part of the cycle. We talked about how it is kind of useful to have such long term (3 years worth) data on my FSH (latest: 5.5), oestradiol and AMH levels.

Since we have good quality sperm frozen already, it all came down to what my body is doing. I must say I was immediately nervous when Dr S said he wanted to re-check the AMH since it was just at the cusp of the "green" level last time, but he didn't expect it to have altered too much, and he explained how it is variable. He wouldn't be worried unless it was 3 or below, and treatment wouldn't change unless it was below 5 or above 20.

We talked about my diabetes and how that is controlled, and this time it it felt like I was really being listened to when I spoke about my diabetes treatment. Because it DOES matter. I told him how I will be going on a pump on September 18th (in fact, my prescription was written last week and I should pick it up from the pharmacy this coming week! Exciting!), and Hubby talked about how I need any IV lines placed as early as possible to avoid my veins collapsing with a hypo in pre-op.

I had prepared a short list of questions with Hubby the night before, and they had pretty much all been answered before I even got to ask them :) The only thing he raised that I wasn't expecting was that both of us would need to do a short course of antibiotics, and that because of my diabetes I would need some antibiotics prior to egg retrieval / transfer (I can't remember which oops).

One thing that we spent a lot of time on was getting an idea of possible scenarios and outcomes. Although we have been given a 40 - 50% chance of IVF working, there are many ways this could play out:

• IVF stimulation works perfectly first time (best guess for drugs, dosages, and timing)
• Could result in a positive pregnancy test, which could result in a baby... or not.
• I could get OHSS (Ovarian Hyper Stimulation Syndrome) which would probably mean the cancellation of the cycle while I recover.
• Dr S expects us to retrieve about 10 eggs, although this is of course just a guess. Out of that he estimates we may get 1 - 3 usable blastocysts, so maybe one or two to freeze. But maybe none. I really hope we get some to freeze!
• If I make it through the stims alright, but get OHSS which makes embryo transfer not a good plan, then we could do a "freeze all" cycle, which apparently has very good outcomes and Dr S said that there is some research to suggest that all IVD cycles should be freeze all so that the woman can rest and recover her body for best possible chances.
• So depending on what the embryologist thinks, we may end up transferring day 3 or day 5. Only day 5 embryos are frozen, and of course there is the chance that they may all need to be frozen if I am in no fit state for a transfer.
• If this first transfer is unsuccessful, then we can continue and do FETs with the remaining frosties. These are all considered part of our first cycle. If none of these work, then we can apply for a second funded cycle, but there would be a waiting time of between 6 and 12 months for this. Any pregnancy from the first cycle negates the second funded round of treatment. I am not sure if by "pregnancy" they mean "live birth" or just a positive pregnancy test??? Will have to find out, not that it will change much...

We discussed the fact that I would need a high-risk obstetrician, and although I knew this, I asked if we should secure one now or wait until I'm actually pregnant? His opinion was that we didn't need any more pre-conception counselling (although he offered us IVF counselling - which would have been useful, like, 3 years ago maybe!!) and he recommended one out of the two high-risk OBs in our home town. Now I need to find out a) how expensive they are to attend privately, and b) since I am diabetic I will be needed one anyway, so could I choose which one? I wonder...

Dr S wanted to do an internal ultrasound to check my follicles (antral follicle count), so we got to meet our new nurse and even before I'd seen her, I was behind a curtain stripping of my pants lol. I was pleased with myself for wearing cute socks and entirely by accident! We got on well immediately and it was all so much easier and relaxed than with the previous doc and her nurse. So, anyway. No pants, ultrasound, Hubby, nurse and doc in the room with me. Should have been unnerving but I always find any chance to look at my insides just fascinating. I was asking lots of questions and the doc explained it very well, showing that my uterus is looking good with lining and no polyps (which I had been worried about), and then looking at the right ovary which proved hard to find as normal, then the left. All up I had 11 follicles with one showing the corpus luteum - a burst follicle indicating I had probably ovulated the day before on the 5th Sept. Interesting, as this means I will finally be able to work out precisely how long my lutenising phase is. :P

Although I was worried about what the AMH re-test might show (we won't get the answers for another two weeks) Dr S said that the antral follicle count number usually is very closely related to the AMH number, and he expected my AMH re-test to come in anywhere between 8 - 11. So, good, predictable news. In fact, the whole appointment was just all about good news!

After the scan, we went through to the nurse's office to discuss our plan and have our drug training, which although was not scheduled for the day, they decided would be fine to do so we wouldn't have to make another trip up just to be taught how to do a handful of injections. I mean, really. I have done tens of thousands of injections. I am NOT freaked out by needles, only by the actual drugs themselves. Who knows what holy-hell they are going to play on my diabetes?

She gave us our plan, and discussed how it would all occur. We got our drugs in a little green cooler bag, just about the right size for a six-pack, along with a sharps container and enough alcohol wipes to do 36 injections - just a bit overkill. I only have 1 Elonva injection to stimulate egg growth, then about 5 Orgalutran injections to prevent premature ovulation, and other meds will be added later as they work out how my cycle is progressing. The FSH may need to be topped up, and of course there will be a trigger shot at some stage.

I got three scripts for antibiotics, plus blood-draw forms and a serial blood draw card to make things easier but it turns out that I won't have to do any in hometown, and it looks like there will be approx 3 more trips up to Hamilton (1 for scan and blood draw, 1 for egg retrieval, 1 for transfer) I think. Just as well we've found a really good motel. It will be hard getting time off work, because Hubby is just starting in his new position and I have a rigid weekly schedule, but I have given my employer over 1 years heads-up so there can't be any complaints there, I will just have to do a lot of prep work so my job can be covered appropriately. 

Oh yeah, and did I mention that I am turning bionic on September the 18th? More to come on that adventure... :)

Beautiful Saturday

There is nothing quite like the first day of a mid-semester break. Ahhhh the days of freedom stretch out before me :)

Today was magical in its simplicity and I was able to forget work completely.

It started with breakfast in bed, then a nice hot shower filled by drying my hair in the sun as I watched the chickens romping around the back garden.

The morning was spent weeding the rose-bed and maybe getting a bit sun burnt. My Hubby and his youngest son started making a rabbit hutch out of a packing crate, so I made everyone tuna noodles for lunch. Again, in the sunshine.

After lunch we did some grocery shopping, I got a repeat of all my diabetic supplies, and we also visited the pet shop as the cat would not be pleased should we run out of cat-noms!

As we drove into the car wash, I realized that I had forgotten to bolus for lunch. Too much sunshine-brain. A small correction bolus later and we were off to collect the cutest rabbit, and perhaps the only one with a "holiday hutch" where he will reside with us whenever the kids do too. Our back garden looks like a petting zoo!

I cooked a delicious strut fry dinner for 6 then my MIL shared not one but 2 desserts with us. Wild berry pie and an apricot/creamed rice/meringue pie. Oh, and I tore the house apart looking for a lost clarinet.

It took me 2.5 hrs of going through boxes to find it, but when I did step-daughter played her sax, hubby played guitar and we all played together (roughly) for the evening. Very much funski :D

Let it be noted that I am exhausted and slightly redder than I should be!

Good news! We have a "month"!!!

Today I pulled a sickie and spent the morning curled up in bed watching movies. My Mum popped round at afternoon tea to see how I was, and brought the post in from the front gate.

Two envelopes.

From the fertility clinic in Hamilton. Or "Hamildog" as it has become known in our house.

Envelope One:

The results of my AMH test = 9.35 pmol/L. The letter goes on to say that this is "as expected for your age". I am looking at the graph and it would seem that I'm sitting just about on the cusp between the yellow and the green:

So that's OK I guess. At least it's not bad news. I'm sitting on the 25th centile (I'm nearly 30. Gawd! Gasp!)

Envelope Two:

It's THE LETTER. The one that officially states we now qualify for public funding. Our month allocated for starting treatment (IVF) is October 2013. That's little over a year away, and a good bit shorter than the 18 month wait I was expecting. Woohoo!!!   :)

To be honest, one of the first things I thought of was "oh, it's right smack in the middle of a semester. How will I wrangle the time off?" But then I quickly changed to "Good heavens! Why should something trivial like time off work jeopardize this?" So now we have settled on a bit of shock, slight happiness, and wonder at what the hell exactly we have gotten ourselves into. Lolz.

A little bit of awesome HbA1c-ness

I know I know, no posts for ages and then 2 in one day :P

But look at this!

Screenshot of TuAnalyze data graph measuring my HbA1c results over time.

I am holding steady on HbA1c result of 6.5% Yay! :)

(that's a 48 mmol/mol in the new numbers)

And now I will document how I got there. No it wasn't anything strenuous or taxing, but it was consistent.

I kept looking for the best way to use the data from my blood tests. Knowledge is power, after all.

That's it.

I figured, that since I test so many times each day, and record each and every one, plus what I eat, that there must be a way to use the data more effectively. Like, perhaps in a way that I could see long term trends happening, or find patterns.

My Endo and Diabetes Health Nurse are always looking for patterns, and I can never see them.

I used to use a paper logbook:

My old paper log book. Each horizontal row = 1 day. Note the classy blood smear top right.

Then moved on to using that together with the iPhone App Insulin Calculator to work out my insulin dosages more accurately. This really made a great change, and if you look at the TuAnalyze graph above, it is what I credit with the drop from 8.1 to 6.7.

More recently - like in the last 3 months or so - I have added another App built by the same folks, called  simply Diabetes Diary. The great thing is that these two Apps link together, so I don't have to enter data twice.

It gives me weekly averages graphs. This is what my "day" way like when I started using the Diabetes Diary App.

I just go into Insulin Calculator, type in my blood sugar and enter what carbs I eat, it works out the number of unit insulin to give - and oh yeah! you can easily adjust your insulin to carb ratio throughout the day! Super precise - then just tap the "take it to Diabetes Diary" button and it's there. Too cool for school I reckon.

And this is what my "day" is averaging out to now. Quite an improvement I think.

It feels like the most advanced technological solution I'm going to achieve without an insulin pump. I'm using 2 injections of Lantus every 24hrs, plus between 3 and 6 shots of Humalog a day.

My week, in real time. I just ate a doughnut, hence the uppity spike-ity bit.

I really like these two Apps. They are very handy and I credit them with increased stability in my blood sugar control. No debilitating nighttime lows since I've been using them, touch wood.

It's good to be able to crunch the data too, like seeing time of day averages for before breakfast, post-prandial breakfast, before lunch, post-prandial lunch etc. This enables me to spot any crazy business, and I can check it with the average day graph.

But you know the main reason I got it?

The graph above. Last Seven Days. When I started logging my blood sugar (well, actually it was my parents) we wrote the details in the log book and then drew the graph by hand. We even used the spent test strips (you know, the ones you wiped the blood off and they changed colour? Really long plastic ones that took about 5ml of blood) as little rulers to keep the graph lines nice and straight and accurate.

Did that for about 15 years. Then was told they had stopped making that graph-style of log book, so I would have to switch over to the horrid chart style. Yucky. Didn't ever really like it.

So when I noticed all these DOC folks showing pics on their Dexcom's and CGMs of graphs, I thought, hey! We were doing that after a fashion ages ago!

And that is the story of why I went hunting for a diabetes iPhone app with a decent graphing feature.

- - - - - - -

Currently use Lilly Huma Pen which is metal and has half-units for the Humalog, and the disposable prefilled pens for Lantus. Blood meters is Optium Exceed. Gotta love their crazy take on the English language.

Interview with a PhD candidate

My blog has made itself truly useful. A PhD-candidate student who is researching in the area of NZ Artifical Reproductive Technology policy contacted me and asked me to become part of her study.

She came today and did the interview, which I was delighted to be a part of. I mean, it's not everyday someone approaches you asking for your opinion on stuff, let alone something you're passionate about! And, it's studies like this that governments take notice of. So I'm hopeful.

The interview itself was about an hour long, and although she had a set of questions to ask me, the first one "tell your story" was incredible. Just to speak all those thoughts and feelings out aloud to someone who wasn't judgemental, who got it, and who seemed very interested in what I had to say was wonderful.

For me it was a cathartic experience. I just hope that my input is helpful. She (I won't reveal her name, since I haven't revealed mine that wouldn't be fair now would it?) mentioned that it's hard to find people in New Zealand going through IVF or other ARTs, because of the privacy laws. That's why my blog gets a pat on the head today :) Good blog, goooood blog. (Don't know why my blog has turned into a cat but it has.)

Blogging has allowed my voice to be heard, to be found, and hopefully to make a difference. I quite like that. :)

What were they thinking??

This is quite obviously a guy's ute. It has business branding all over it. Check out the number plate:




I know right? What were they thinking?? :P lol

In less trite news, I am now on holiday. I get ten days for mid-semester break - no students, no lesson plan, no meeting, no....dishwasher? Unfortunately yes, it be broken :( it takes our family exactly 2 days to use all the dishes we own.

So I've been doing a lot of house work, cleaning, loads of laundry.

And I like me new GPs office very much. Got a call from one of the nurses today about a discrepancy in my notes. She was super cool to talk to about sorting out a whole lot of blood work tests I need to get done, and getting a serial card so I can have an HbA1c whenever I want (read: remember).

She was also happy to add tests for fertility hormones, just because I want to be proactive and you know, know that stuff and not be surprised with it at any stage.

The nurse I spoke to is also really interested in diabetes, both types, and she encouraged me to come along for a free diabetes check. My old GP didn't make much of a case for this check, but my new GPs office is really into it. She explained that it will cover more than what my diabetes care team looks at, such as blood pressure, full blood work, feet, eyes etc. Hey, it's a free full physical. And I'm on holidays. What's not to like?

Oh yeah, the vampires. Had to get bloodwork done before I can have the check. Bah. Dislike.

BTW, it is not advisable to have a blood draw after you've just exercised for 30 mins and have a blood test of 4.7mmol/L. Causes near-fainting in the phlemotomist's chair. Lol

Ooh and the best bit! I still haven't told you the best bit: when I was on the phone to the nurse she got my new prescription for insulin et al. sorted out.

"How many vials do you normally get?" she asked.

"Um, my last doc just wanted to know how many units per day I use, and he would work it out. But it meant I never had enough to last me through the 3 months because I do a 1- 2 unit air-shot to get rid of bubbles."

"OK, we'll give you 5 vials of each Lantus and Humalog, and see if that's enough"

"*smile*" that's going to be 30 vials of insulin over 3 months!!! How awesome is that! I loooooove having backup supplies in the fridge. This means I could also put some spares at work too. How wonderful :)

(non-diabetic readers will probably wonder why I'm getting so excited over a prescription. Well it means that I will have an adequate backup supply of my absolutely essential insulin. It also means that my new doctor's office understands this and is willing to be flexible and helpful)

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So proud! :D

This is my step-daughter Olivia singing with her two friends as part of the "Busting to Busk" talent competition in the Park. The song is I'm Yours by Jason Maraz.

Every year the park is lit up with thousands of colourful lights, and there are always plenty of things to see and do. This talent comp was for 13 - 18 year olds. Olivia is 13!!! Look at her go! [She's the blond standing on the right, with guitar. Sorry about bad video quality :(  ]



The girls chose the song that afternoon, so about 2 hours rehearsal and they're all ready to perform in front of 500 people. She's getting really confident now, and her pitch and timing are great, shame about the "interesting" drumming by her mate! haha

They won an award for Best Audience Participation. So cute! :D