Watching TV gets interesting

One of the banks has just started a new advertising campaign. It uses a really poignant song, and it just gets me every time it plays:

Sorry, you can't click it!

I couldn't save the video off their website, so to hear the song you'll have to watch it here:  http://www.asb.co.nz/CreatingFutures/ivf/

I have to say, I had already been thinking about how we could maybe look at affording IVF privately. So far, I've not come up with many bright ideas, however, I've not been feeling too bad since I've been soooo busy at work - end of year and I've been snowed under with marking and stuff. I guess everything just got too hard for me when we got told we couldn't get public funding. I wouldn't say that my dream has died, far from it, but I've found a way (don't ask me how!) to cope and push the thoughts from my mind for a good chunk of my day.

Thoughts like,

• Will I ever be a Grandma?
• Who will I pass all my stuffed toys to?
• Will I ever make my sister into an Aunty (she'd make the BEST aunty!)
• Will I get to see if our kid/s have dark hair?
• How will I fill up my years if I don't start a family?
• What will be the meaning of my life if I can't have kids with the man I love?
• How will I cope long term, once the "clock starts ticking"?
• How long can we wait, since Hubby is not a spring chicken?
• Will I ever get to decorate a nursery and buy oh-too-cute baby clothes?
• Will I get to experience all the nervousness and fear that comes with pregnancy?
• I already know that I will be a good Mum, and that Hubby is a good Dad, but will we get to have kids together?
• Will I ever get to agonise over choosing a kindergarten/primary school/high school/university??
• How will I choose a name for my baby?
• Am I being stupid wanting something when the world seems to be telling me NO NO NOOO again and again?
• Am I willing to go into debt to have only one chance at this? etc etc   ....sigh   :S

Ha! Who am I kidding! Those thoughts are still there, just perhaps not resting on the surface like a few months back :P

The sucky thing is there is ZERO information on their website about what they are actually offering - I'm assuming it's a personal loan. Something I want to avoid, since if I did get pregnant on the first pop (ok, yes, I am assuming a lot.... just let me think myself into a knot for a moment please :P  ) I would be definitely taking time off work, so would not be able to "administer" a loan of that scale. I'm very nearly debt free from uni, so I don't particularly relish the thought of plunging back into the red. Yeah, so the nice marketing folks at the bank have no idea, as they want, no, demand their potential customers to come in to discuss IVF in the bank (like, no freaking way!!) or phone them (a stranger on the phone, you've got to be kidding), or even, yup, you guessed it - facebook. What? And let all my IRL folks know the haps? Nup, no sale, happy yellow bank.

In happier news, Christmas is coming!! :D

We are hosting Christmas lunch at our place, and as it will be high-summer here in NZ, a classic backyard bbq is in order. Plus, we will have healthy selection of gluten free dishes and (weather permitting) fresh garden peas, new potatoes and tomatoes! Oh I hope the sky stays sunny!

I want to revamp the back garden. I've already planted a new rose garden with beautiful old roses such as:

Albertine

Avalanche

Blackberry Nip

Dublin Bay

Falstaff

Heritage

Jubilee Celebration

Othello

And we are thinking, maybe, of getting chickens. What do you think? Any of you have experience keeping pet chickens? Do you think it's a good idea? Fresh hen eggs....mmmm :)