11w3d Christmas Eve-Eve

Christmas shopping is all finished (hooray) and this evening I put up the tree and then we wrapped all the pressies. Including the first thing ever for our one on the way:



Here is the tree, with massively oversized tinsel star that keeps threatening to tip the whole lot over:



Pregnancy symptoms at 11 weeks seem to be settling down a bit. Over the past 3 or 4 days I've gotten a lot of my energy back. A week ago I set the record at 3 naps in one day, not including the 11.30am sleep in. Then I got a horrendous head cold that featured loud sneezing with nose like a tap.

I have given my cold to Hubby and his Mum, and now I'm feeling better lol :P

Breathing is feeling a bit weird at times, kind of like the feeling you get when the cat is sleeping on your chest.

I've upped my breakfast to be one slice of gluten-free toast with lashings if crunchy peanut butter, a cup of decaf-tea with raw sugar and trim milk, a handful of prunes and a nectarine or a couple of fresh apricots.

I still haven't gained any weight (57kg) but I have reorganized what I've got: arms and face seem a bit skinnier while belly may? Seem? Rounder? we are taking photos but even though I'm frustrated at being stick with hardly any pant to wear and still being a long way away from maternity clothing, there is no obvious "popping" yet.

Getting a lot of lows at the moment, and they generally seem to take double the amount of carbs to get me back to fighting fit. So two juice boxes instead of one. I got so frustrated with juice that I've started eating glucose tablets again :-/

Getting what may be a few food aversions to beef, some chicken dishes that I normally love, and generally being slightly nauseated by awful smells. No real cravings but I do find I must snack or eat meals every 2hrs or so otherwise I feel slightly weird/ill. When I go low I go pale and get tired needing to sit down immediately.

Still having mild trouble with constipation, but can't really complain since I've been doing idiotic things like swapping my pre-natal vitamins from bedtime to morning (not cos I forgot! Honest!).

I got out in the garden for two days and tidied things up in preparation for hosting Christmas lunch for our parents. Kids will be here for breakfast and back for dinner at my parents house.

After over a month of waking at 4am for a low blood sugar that would haunt me until dawn, I finally remembered to actually so something about it. Cue messing with nighttime basal rates at 1am the other night! Result? Flat as a pancake from midnite to 8am woohoo!!! Very proud of me self on that one. Guessing it won't last too long before things all change again.

So, Merry Christmas to all you lovely readers. Have a wonderful day and I hope Santa brings you what you asked for!

P.s. Can I ask you all to say a little wish/prayer for a good friend of mine who is doing clomid treatment right now and has, 2 days before Christmas, got another negative result. She's battling on but getting a little overwhelmed and considering IVF. I really hope her next cycle works and she gets what she's been dreaming of! Thank you! :)

Slightly belated: 7w6d ultrasound

Sorry to keep you all waiting so long, my only excuse is that I have been exhausted. Like, take a nap at 3pm exhausted!

Great news: we had the "8 week" ultrasound done on Thursday 28th 2013 when I was 7w6d.

Here is a piccy:

The size of a raspberry? Kidney bean?

If you need help deciphering the picture, the line between the two little white crosses is the crown to rump length CRL 1.29cm, and the head is down with bum up. The left curve is the back, and the interesting fluffy parts on the right is the umbilical cord, and perhaps arm and leg paddles? Who knows. We saw a good heartbeat of 164bpm which the OB/sonographer said was right on target. She also looked a bit bored but basically told us that everything looks right on track.

I have never been so relieved to see some flashing, pulsing pixels in my life.

Hubby filmed it on his phone, so I will try and post the video up sometime too.

When the OB checked my ovaries, she said they were still quite swollen, and even asked if I had been overstimulated. They were big and empty looking. She said they were still recovering, but I hadn't expected that to take so long. Who knew the ER would be so damaging to them?

In other news, we had another chat about the ante-natal testing, and Hubby basically came to the conclusion that I will worry like a crazy woman unless I know, and I came to the conclusion that if it was really that important to him I could live with not doing the testing. End result is that we have agreed to do the testing including blood screening test and nuchal translucency ultrasound scan. I am pretty relieved about that. It means a great deal to me that should we find anything, I can have time to prepare myself.

Symptoms? Yes. Plenty.

Sheer and all-encompassing exhaustion is the major one at the moment. I am fine (sort of) and awake one moment, and the next I am the walking dead. lol. Mostly I can get through the day, but I am taking some serious cat-naps in the weekends.

No morning sickness. And that is the way I have decided it shall stay! There has been a little bit of mild nausea, but it's actually more like what I would describe as extreme hunger. As a diabetic I don't get hungry, like ever and this is because I am and have always eaten on a regular schedule. On the rare occasions when I have experienced hunger (from illness etc) I never really recognise it as such, and it instead feels a lot like a cold, slightly nauseas feeling radiating out from my sternum/high-stomach area. It's not an "I'm about to puke" feeling, and it usually goes away with application of noms.

I am sneezing a lot at the moment, not sure if it's hayfever or just irritation from the increased blood supply to well, everywhere including my nose that's doing it. It's tolerable but if it gets much worse I will have to look and see if I can take any hayfever meds... don't like my chances though.

Peeing is my new hobby. My record at night is 3 times. And none of those was caused by a low or low alarm.

Prunes and kiwifruit are my new best friends, as are bottles of water.

My diabetes is being...predictable. Well, almost. It's not terribly stable, in that I am going low multiple times per day (and night), but the predictability comes in the timing of those lows. They tend to happen about 2hrs post meal. My DNE nurse put my I:C ratios up for all main meals a couple of weeks ago when I was still having quite a few highs. At the time I thought the increases in I:Cs were a bit late, since I could already tell that my blood sugars were dropping. And now they are tanking multiple times per day, however the insulin doesn't kick in soon enough if I take it when I start eating (I know, I know, supposed to take it earlier!) and I am still getting a noticeable rise in blood sugar after a meal. Trouble is by the time the bulk of the insulin is kicking in, the food is wearing off and that's when I go low.

When I was last on the phone to my DNE she recommended that I eat a lot MORE food and a lot more fat and protein, especially for lunch. Well, I have been trying that for a week now. I feel stuffed to the gunnels most of the time and have regained half a kilo (after losing 1.5Kg in 2 weeks which is what got her so worried). I do get more hunger feelings that I am used to, however I cannot really handle eating this quantity of food PLUS all the emergency food I am eating/drinking to get my blood sugars up when they go low.

This evening I went to the supermarket to get three things: yoghurt, strawberries, and bananas. Smoothie time. Well, I pulled into the carpark and since my Dex was still on start-up, I did a quick test. 3.8mmol so I drank a juice, ate an afghan bar and decided to wait. The Dex and Vibe then both started bleating for calibration tests, so I did those too. My brain was foggy but not so foggy that I couldn't do a quick nip into the supermarket. I had a written list and I thought I had just eaten all of my food - turns out my foggy brain had completely forgotten about the pack of jelly beans in the globe box, as well as doing anything sensible like phoning Hubby. Sigh. My brain just gets super fixated on a single thing, in this case I knew that the supermarket had food, and I knew I needed sugar, so that's where I went.

Got a trolley to hang on to instead of just a basket, and started working my way slowly through the shop to get the items on the list. Note to self: do not shop while low. What should have been a $15 trip cost $90!!!! All manner of tasty treats found their way into my trolley! Whoops! Just before I got to the checkout, I started to panic a bit as the low symptoms were coming on really strongly. I must have been looking rather pale as several shelf-packers gave me weird looks. I headed to the drink aisle to get something sweet and fast. Ended up grabbing a bottle of lucozade which is 68g of carbs in a bottle, but no caffeine - I checked.

At the checkout, the woman in the queue in front of me was taking forever. Then she decided to pay using a credit card that wouldn't scan. The receipt finally printed and the checkout-chick tried to fold it up, got is scrumpled up, tried again, and again; there was lots of smiling and laughing amongst them while I contemplated breaking all the social conventions of supermarket shopping by ripping into the lucozade before actually buying it. I had my eftpos card out and ready. I was standing with both feet flat, the trolley wedged against the counter so that I could lean on it. Even in my hazy mind I knew that 3 point support wouldn't tip over! Finally I got my groceries scanned, paid for and bagged, and headed out to the car. Got things loaded in ok, all while the world wooshed and fuzzed around me. A bit of a mix between extreme tiredness and hyper-sensitivity to lights and colours. My brain slows right down and I must carefully check every thought to ensure that what I am doing is correct, will use the least energy until I can get more glucose in me, and will not be liable to draw unwanted attention to me. I am quite good at this (I think) so managed to do a moderate sized grocery shop on a blood sugar of about 3mmol (and it was still dropping at one point, with Dex alarms blaring!) all while no one around me was any the wiser.

Got that lucozade in me, waited, tested and as soon as my brain felt ok, and the test was over 5mmol I drove home.

Hoping to get my DNE nurse on the phone early this week to see what she suggests to sort this out. And eating more is not practical!!! I just do not have room!

Only a could of weeks of work left and then I will be on Christmas holidays. Yay!

Thank you to everyone who wrote comments on my last post with advice and support. I really appreciate you help :D

Sesame snack attack

Last night I had racehorse syndrome. And I couldn't figure out why.

I wasn't too high, I wasn't too low.

And then today it clicked. It was these:

Dark Chocolate Sesame Snaps from Golden Days

Oh my how they are tasty! And according to the nutritional info each pack of three slices was only 7g carbs! Yay! A tasty treat I can eat as a true snack!

NO.

That is not the case at all. Because you have read the pack wrong. For a whole week. Dummy. It's not 7g of carbs per pack, it's 7g PER SLICE!!! That means 21g carbs per pack! Oh woe!

On closer inspection, I also found that each slice has a whopping 10g of sodium, so that explains the racehorse: extra sugar, extra salt, extra tasty, extra-needing-to-pee!

*Marketed as a very tasty and nutritious, healthy snack. Unfortunately their website doesn't actually reveal the high levels of sugar and salt in their products. :(

Have you ever been tricked by food like this?

So sleepy

I'm now in my second week back at work after the Christmas break, and there are 3 things on my mind:

• why do I keep falling into an exhausted sleep at midday?
• when will I finally write the Christmas beach holiday post I promised you all?
• how on earth do I write a letter to my Member of Parliament asking for help with getting funding for IVF?

::sigh::

First things first: the tiredness.
Last week, I took 2 full afternoons off work, and each time as soon as I got home I fell into a coma-sleep until dinner time. Then there was the drama with the fish hook over the weekend, and then I got so exhausted with a migraine yesterday lunchtime I once again came home and fell asleep. I've taken iron tablets, and now I am taking B vitamins as well. Today seems to be ok so far, but I am dreading lunchtime because I'm afraid I will be too whacked to make it through the afternoon.

Lucky that I'm on a 3 week contract with another department here at the tertiary institute, because I don't have a real boss at the moment, which is great cos it means I can just slip home, sleep, then work in the evenings if I need to.

Second: the Christmas holiday beach post
Sometime this week I hope! I have a gazillion photos to download from my camera (last count I think it had close to 2000 photos waiting for download.) I'm hopeless at downloading...just love taking photos! haha

Third: the letter to the MP
This one is hard, because I know it's the next (read: only) step in our journey for IVF. I started re-writing what I had done already, but got part way through and turned into a mess of tears. It's so hard reading about the last year+ and all the crap we've been through, and knowing that this MP probably can't do much to help our particular case, and how am I supposed to approach this letter anyway? Everytime I start, it's too much. It's overwhelming. I have set myself a deadline to do it each week for the past 3 weeks and failed each time. I don't know whether to explain what's happened in great detail, or give bullet points, or just plain ol' beg for help?? I want to get a draft written and send it to my Endo, so he can give it the once over before I send it to the MP. I also want to be able to post it here first, to see what you all think.

Yeah, so today I am also starting the non-holiday food. That means, eat more fresh healthy stuff, and less "it's holiday time, fast food is ok!" food. Delicious cous cous with spring onions and chopped baby toms for lunch, with an apricot. Raisins and sesame crackers for snacks. No more bakery food for lunch! Makes me feel too ugh. Makes the diabetes too hard to predict. Fresh food always makes me happy.

How are you handling the back-to-work transition from the holidays?

It's the little things

So, I've been a bit slack this week. My poor blog got a bit neglected, but I hope you will all forgive me with this post!

I went to see my dietician on Thursday. It was fantastic. Absolutely, I couldn't have asked for better. She understands.

She looked over my log book, which is jam-packed with my tiny scribblings, and assumed that I was on a pump due to the sheer amount of information I collect. And how often I test. And how I'm trying to get my carb counting down pat. I took that as a Good Thing, since she followed up by saying I was doing all that was possible without a pump! Finally, can I get a hell-yeeah! :D

Looking over the book, she was able to spot some wonky high numbers in the past week and a half. I explained that I couldn't explain them, so she explained that in each instance they were caused by me having a meal with high fat content. This meant that I would give my insulin, get a low cos the food hadn't "kicked in" soon enough, and then go high about 2 - 4 hrs later when the fatty meal got digested, by which time there was no Humalog left in my system. What a great explanation! Actually helpful! :D She was able to sort out what ALL of my wonky numbers were caused by.

The other reason was when my carb counts were a bit off, and this would always be caused by eating a meal that I didn't cook - restaurants, bakeries, hubby's cooking etc. Yummy but unpredictable. :P

I feel so empowered to know these two little piece of information. It's like everything has just slotted into place since seeing her. Here is a day of test results from

BEFORE: 12.6, 15.4, 12.1, 8.6, 2.5, 16.3, 15.5, 11.7

OK so that day was nothing special, a couple of highs and only one low. But look where I'm at now!

AFTER: 5.4, 9.0, 6.7, 6.6, 8.2, 5.4, 6.6, 6.1, 6.3 - this is today :D So steady, nothing above 9.0, no hypos, no lows. Wahoo!

At the end of the appointment, she enquired about my next visit to see my nurse educator, and then she offered to share our next appointment so I get to see both of them at once! I love getting my docs in the same room together. Especially when one of them seems to understand me so well, and the other sometimes seems to mistrust my ability to a) carb count or b) dose insulin correctly. For the record, I think I do rather well, considering I've never actually been formally taught either topic. :P

Meeting with my dietician has just proved that a well trained sympathetic eye can spot issues that need refining. I finally feel like I'm getting a handle on this. I mean, honestly, I haven't had a day as stable as today in years. I feel great. :) It's the little things that make me happy. See also:

In other news, you may not be aware but I am a photographer. Or at least I'm trying to be. I've joined up with my local camera club, and got myself a shiny piece of camera apparatus. I entered a competition "people, portraits, stories", and won an honours with this image of my gorgeous little sister:

So that's my happy post for this week :) It's a long weekend here, which makes me even happier!

To carb or not to carb

I eat a pretty normal diet. An average of 150 - 170 grams of carbs per day. It's not a low carb diet, but it's getting close. It just happens to be the amount I eat which makes me feel neither hungry nor too full.


I tend to follow the advice of my Mum, and my first diabetes nurse educator, and dietician. They all recommend something like this:



It's worked for 27 years, and kept my weight at a healthy 60-65kg. Good for my height.

My only food problems came when I got really depressed. Unfortunately for me, my main symptom was nausea, so I stopped eating cos I couldn't face it. And lost weight... so much that I was diagnosed as anorexic, and sent off for counselling (and gentle anti-depressants, which moderate the lows, but also the joys, like putting a dampener on your emotions).


It worked, thank god, cos managing T1 diabetes with an eating condition was just awful. Now I watch myself carefully, if I get depressed, I take note that my eating is not gently dwindling away, and I can catch it in time. :)


My hubby is getting interested in vegetarian cooking, so I have been treated to some wonderful vege meals over the past couple of months :) Lots of chilli, tumeric, cumin, nuts, spice! Yummy! I don't mind not-eating meat, however I still say that the best vegetarian meals are the ones with bacon added! hehe


If food is in front of me, and I'm hungry, I will probably eat some. If I end up in a cafe, I always look for something with adequate carbs. If it's a restaurant for dinner, I might end up with a plate full of chicken and salad, but no carbs... that means I get to eat dessert too!

I don't count calories, but I have started logging the number of grams of carbohydrate I eat this year. Everything.


Food should be enjoyed, and I hate having to "emergency-eat" for lows, but on the whole I enjoy planting, growing, cooking and eating. Like it should be. I won't let diabetes ruin one of the great joys of my life. :)

This just proves how random my diabetes really is

I thought I could best describe it with a picture:

Click to see a larger version

Notice the little "average" icon on the right. Yes, 8.7 - is that awesome or what!? (The green indicates my target range, between 4 and 8mmol/L).

I'm normally an average of about 10 mmol/L, so that little number makes me very happy to see :) (Thanks Log for Life!)

But it has come at a cost, as you can see from today's graph, I've been low three times already.
Trust me when I say I am starting to feel the effects of it. Getting tired, brain is just a constant fog and I can't concentrate on anything for more than a minute. I've been eating fruit bars like there's no tomorrow, and even switched to having sugar in my tea today instead of Equal, but I keep going low. Must be because I had a very light dinner last night - hubby is learning to cook vegetarian and he made a delicious cauliflower soup. Don't make that face! It honestly was delicious, with potatoes, celery and almonds. Yum! But not many carbs.

I normally eat about 150 - 170g carbs per day, and I don't know whether that counts as a low carb diet or not, it's just what I eat. I try to eat sensible food, but if you put something tasty in front of me, I will probably eat some of it. And test and inject to cope with it. No strict meal plans or anything. Which makes life...interesting. :P

And yes, I am blogging while low. haha. I will probably need to cull this post tomorrow!