29w4d Scan and stuff

I am on a two week mid-term break from work at the moment, so no teaching. But there are so many appointments and baby-things to do that it's not exactly a restful time either. I will try and put this down in the right order but things are starting to just become a big ol' blur!

Since my last post the weekend before Easter (when I got sent to labour and delivery for a minor bleed on a Sunday night 13 Apr) I took the Monday off work to rest up and recover, then on Tuesday morning I phoned my diabetes nurse educator (DNE) and told her what had happened and do a pump download. She promptly got me an urgent appointment with both her and my OB for Wed 23 April. She saw that my blood sugar levels were too high (averaging about 10 - 13 mmol/L semi-constantly) and was worried that this may have contributed to the bleed. She also saw that the tests the midwife had taken on Sunday night hadn't been entered in the hospital database and asked me to pop into hospital on my lunch break to re-do tests including a complete blood count and urine test for infections.

The Wednesday appointment was good, if for no other reason that getting two of my 3 medical care team in the same room! The OB took my blood pressure (118/73?? slightly elevated for me) and blood/ox (95% slightly low) the measurements were so out of character for me that the OB tested the machine on himself! That was like the highest BP I've ever had. But I know why... it was raining, I was stressing about my blood sugars and getting to the appointment, and having to reschedule the class I was teaching. Oh, yeah, and I was having another bleed just before leaving campus for the hospital! The OB basically said that since the bleeds were so minor, and apart from slightly elevated white blood cells, and slightly weird BP and blood/ox readings, and slightly raised blood glucose, everything was fine and there was no sign of any definitive problems. He wasn't fussed and put my mind at ease :) saying that some women just have bleeds, and that it could be the placenta previa??

My DNE took me up to her office afterwards, which is just two floors above antenatal clinic, and we went through my blood sugar CGM graphs with a fine tooth comb. I made another bunch of changes, and they seem to have worked out ok. Well, better for now, but things are requiring constant adjustments.

That was the last week of term, and the OB had speculated that it may just all have been caused by stress. An excellent time to have two weeks off!

First week of the hols was supposed to see me have a midwife apt, growth scan, and OB apt.

The appointment with my midwife was supposed to be on Easter Monday 21st April. And I promptly forgot all about it and we went out to have morning tea with friends then have lunch at a cafe instead. I felt VERY guilty when I looked at my phone and saw all these missed messages! Whoops! Brain fade. Got it rescheduled for later in the week.

In the meantime, on Wednesday 23rd April, I had my first growth scan ultrasound which was done at the hospital, and that was followed by another appointment with the OB.

At the growth scan we got to see Tiny Fish looking happy and healthy, with a good heartbeat of 142bpm. Growth sitting at 1417g which places in the 61% percentile. That lines up with what the midwife had measured with the tape measure at previous appointment. Baby was facing towards my spine with head down. Thankfully, we were able to see that the placenta had well and truly moved up and back, right out of the way. No more placenta previa hooray! This means I now have the opportunity to give natural delivery and/or induction a go.

The scan itself was quite quick, and Tiny Fish seemed too big to fit in the picture nicely like had done in the past. And was hiding and squirming about making it nearly impossible to get a nice shot of the head. Here are the pics:

This is, believe it or not, a front-on shot of the head. It is upside down, with the nearly horizontal curved line in bottom-centre of image the top of skull. See the two white horizontal lines on the left of image? They are pointing to Tiny Fish's chin. You can kind of see the right eye socket, and some smudges where nose and mouth are. Tiny Fish was head down way down low, and did NOT want to be photographed thank you!

This one is easier to understand. It is a whopping great foot. See the two little cross-hair markers, those are the heel (top) and toes (bottom) and it is nearly 6cm long! Wow that is big!

The OB appointment was good, and after the Dr talked for a little bit and made happy noises about no more bleeds, that I was looking better, and my blood sugars were now averaging much lower, I made sure to ask a bunch of questions:

• Can I keep my pump and CGM on during labour? Yes, that sounds like a good idea for you to do that.
• Is it possible for me to avoid an induction, as I have read that artificially induced contractions can be much more painful. Plus I don't really want the additional risk of more interventions - specifically a c-section. Yes, if you spontaneously go into labour before 40w, and you are both still healthy then that should be possible. Ideally you would start or be induced between 38 - 40w. But you can't go longer than 40w. That's the max.
• I want to restrict who will have management rights of my diabetes, will that request be respected? Yep we are happy to work with you.
• Can the IV line be placed nice and early in case I need dextrose / glucose? Yes.
• What is causing the nerve pain in my thigh? That's your femoral lateral subcutaneous nerve.
• I had more questions to ask, but silly me didn't actually pull out my phone to look at my list. D'oh. Oh well, next time.

Yes, this post is continuing... feel free to reach for some snacks and refreshments. You deserve some form of chocolatey treat for reading thus far!

Thursday 24th April rolled around and I decided to bake a cake to have ready to come out of the over at just the time when my midwife was due to pop round. What a coincidence! I was thinking that would be a nice touch since I had stood her up on Monday :P

Well, cake was delicious*, but midwife didn't get any of it cos SHE forgot! hahaha We figured that she had been called to a birth as she told me when I rebooked the appointment that that could happen. No drama. More cake for meeeeee! *it had ganache om nom nom.

The step kids came for the weekend and we had some family in from out of town. We went to the 10am ANZAC Day service at the Cenotaph, then took poppies up to Hubby's Grandfather's grave. I Facebooked my midwife and she phoned up terribly apologetic to have missed our apt and we got another one scheduled for tomorrow. Third time's the charm!

Oh, and yesterday I lost my sh*t for the first time in this pregnancy journey. It wasn't a bleed, or blood sugars, or even concerns about whether I will make a good Mum. It wasn't worries about breast-feeding, or how my diabetes will be managed in labour, or what it will be like to leave my job and go on maternity leave. No, all of these things are scary to a certain degree, but have not yet freaked me out.

So what did it?

I feel silly admitting this, but I lost the plot over our earlier purchase of stroller and capsule. See, I was thinking how the capsule didn't have much/any real padding in it and from there it was a short trip to looking at online safety ratings websites and finding that our capsule wasn't listed at all. This did not give me a good feeling and my instinct was that I needed to get a better capsule. The stroller is ok, not great, but I could live with it.

Then things got awfully complex quickly, since that particular model of stroller and capsule are designed to go together, and capsules with higher safety ratings wouldn't fit in the stroller at all. Not even with adaptors. The old capsule we thought had the option of getting a base as the lady at the store we got it from advised us, but when I called the shop they said no, no base to go in the car. Boo. And then I started thinking about how hard the stroller was to fold up. And I wanted to get rid of them and start again. It was a difficult thing to admit because a) I felt stupid b) I felt like I was making a fuss c) the items in question were not broken and would probably be perfectly fine d) Hubby didn't understand, initially, what I was trying to communicate, which upset us both e) I was incredibly confused about what I actually wanted to do to remedy the problem - or even how I defined the problem in the first place.

But once I got my ducks in a row and explained my worries more clearly to Hubby, he was lovely and understood my sometimes awkward feelings-logic.

The end result is that we will look at either selling the current stroller and capsule (about $300 worth) or if we can't then may keep them as spares. I have selected a top-ranking capsule which was an absolute bast4rd to get a stroller to fit it, however I had a ray of sunshine from a local store owner who actually knew what she was talking about. I visited her today and she presented a plan of attack to get the capsule I want with a base that fits in my car (we can hire this for 6 months), with a fantastic new stroller that is easy to fold up. Just waiting on her to order the adaptor and check that the two items will indeed marry-up. Other than that, it looks like a go. So you will get pictures of said stroller etc once it's all done and dusted :)

I know I have been stingy with the belly pics, but it is nearly midnight and I was awake until about 6.30 AM!!! last night (3 x lows, 2 x pee trips + lots of general aches and uncomfortableness) I saw dawn. So I am too tired to take photos right now. I promise to take some more but I will probably just post them to my twitter feed - you can get that over here in my sidebar - - - - - - - - >

Got my HbA1c results in, and even with that spell of higher glucose results, I have dropped ANOTHER mmol/mol:

Don't you dare call me normal.

And now my brain is feeling really scattered, but I will just tack this on the end. I promise, it's the last thing:

I had a bit of a scare on Saturday night when my blood sugar came down from a high to normal reasonably fast, over about 2hrs, and I noticed an anomaly in the vision of my right eye. I was trying to read the fine text on a Beatles album cover that my step-daughter was playing, and I noticed this blurry fizzing shape that was tracking with my vision, just to the right of the centre of focus.

Because I have a Dad who had detatched retinas, and because I am a pregnant Type 1 Diabetic, all these warning signs lit up in neon and screamed OH-MY-GOD-YOUR-VISION-IS-CRAPPING-OUT!!! Followed by a whispered ***don't panic, it's Saturday and no eye place is open now. Just be calm, be calm, and call them on Monday morning***

I called my optometrist first, noting that ironically I have just had my diabetic retinopathy screening within the past 3 weeks and got the all clear. They explained that I needed to see an opthalmologist, and to go via my GP to get a referral. I called the GP's nurse/receptionist and we both agreed that I may be able to phone the opthalmologist directly and get a private appointment quickly. Nope. They were booked up and short staffed and the only was in was for me to go to the GP and get an "acute referral". The nurse phoned me back and said, sorry, you'll have to come in for an appointment. So I did that yesterday (Monday), and the GP had me lay on the bed while he shone the light in my right eye, checking the blood vessels and looking for signs of any pressure or damage. He found none, and declared my eye ball perfect, like that of a 10 year old, and said I didn't need to the urgent appointment since there had been no change in 48hrs. Although he did say to monitor it like a hawk and any change at all I could get the referral letter in a flash. It's still there, but no change so far. I am wondering if I should go back to my optometrist anyway?

So yeah, it's been a busy 3 weeks.

19w3d Swimming and sore thigh

Tiny Fish is somersaulting and kicking as I type this :)

I've been swimming twice with the insulin pump infusion site and Dexcom transmitter in. At first, on the weekend, I was worried about going untethered from the pump (would I go too high without insulin? Or too low with all the exercise. Answer = too low) and what the pool water might do to the adhesives or reliability of the Dexcom.

Turns out it was fine. My Dexcom has a whopping great piece of opsite Flexifix taped over it (with a little window so the transmitter can poke through) so the adhesive was really no issue. The infusion site (inset30) was at the end of its 3 days so was already a little worse for wear.

All in all it felt marvelous to be in the water and we went again tonight after work. Even with a banana beforehand I still drop between 4 - 6mmol in 40 mins untethered. But then I do climb to about 11mmol a couple of hours later. This rise is due to the lack of basal plus the emergency juice after the swim. Must try basal reduction prior to the swim itself.

In other news: OWWWWW!!!

My right thigh is hu-uu-rting! It gets tingly then goes numb on the main muscle down the front/outside of the thigh. Then it gets achy. Then the ache gets a bit stabby. Then my hip gets achy and stabby cos it feels all left out. Long story short: standing and walking hurt. Standing to take a shower hurts. Sitting or lying down makes it better. Even though I have a job that has many hours in front of a computer, I still do a lot of traipsing around campus and it's surprising how many people think it's cool to have long-winded chats in the hallway, standing up, with no chairs ready to rescue me!

I asked my OB about this when I met him the other week and he wasn't too concerned, just said to watch if it got worse. Well, it's definitely worse.

So I gave in and texted my midwife asking her advice. She thinks it might either be a pinched nerve or maybe a torn ligament in my hip. I am going to call a physiotherapist (I can do self referral which is quicker, but it would be pay out of pocket either way) tomorrow morning hopefully.

Oh and I had a quick unexpected catchup with my pump reps T and K today up at the hospital. On Saturday night I was having a headache, exhaustion, and lows. The Dexcom and the vibe (both of which had new sites inserted that evening after the first swim) took it upon themselves to wake me up no less than 20 times with various low alarms, false low alarms, error code 0, error code 1, calibration warnings, and reminders that the calibrations were failing. Bah! By 3am I gave up and turned the CGM functionality off both devices just so I could get some sleep.

An email to my rep in the morning and she offered to meet up and bring me a replacement sensor, and explain the error codes. Since they are normally in another city it was an unexpected pleasure to get to see both of them face to face. :)

And now for some devastating news. You might want to click away now if you're not in a particularly happy spot right now as this next bit is just utterly heartbreaking :(

.
.
.
.
.
.

My little second cousin, a 10 year old boy, has just been diagnosed with a very rare form of cancer with a simply awful prognosis. He's already about to have his second surgery in a month, the first removed a strange lump and now that pathology has finally identified it he's been rushed to the children's hospital. He is not expected to out live his parents. Apart from some radical drugs in clinical trials, surgeries are the only option. Chemo and radiation don't really work well for this type. Our whole family is pretty much in shock and I would love advice from anyone about how I can best support my cousins at this time.

So, that's it for now. I don't expect to be posting many updates about my cousin as that's not really my story to tell. I'll just see how it goes and do what I can for them.

18w4d - When space starts to become sparse

The bump has most definitely gone "pop" in the last 10 days. When I wear a dress to work everyone comments on how big it is.

Tiny Fish is kicking with regularity when I wake up and when I go to bed. TF also quite likes the sound of Hubby's voice and often starts kicking up a storm when he/she hears Daddy.

Over the weekend I experienced TF's first really big growth spurt: my belly got really tight and the skin at the sides became itchy.

I got pretty tired out on Friday night and that tired-headache came on and I couldn't shake it for the whole weekend. Boo. Even with panadol each night. I was sleeping huge amounts and barely doing anything, but scared it would turn back into a migraine with more vomiting. Thankfully, it didn't, but those growth spurt hormones really treat me badly.

My blood sugars went quite high and I was using multiple temp basal increases each day to try and keep it down. I actually thought that I might finally be getting to the second trimester insulin resistance. But no, on Monday it was back to almost "normal" including the lows.

We met the obstetrician last week. He seems nice and my aunt and cousin who have connections to healthcare both say he is very nice and very good. I've got to do a PCR urine test for protein. I asked him about this numbness and pain I'm having in my leg (like a pinched nerve when I stand too long) but he didn't seem too concerned. I'll keep an eye on it and talk to my midwife about it when I see her next.

Back to work this week and things are going well. I am managing a reasonably busy day but I have to be in bed quite early or else that headache comes back.

Had a wonderful evening tonight celebrating my Dad's birthday. I ate too much and I'm paying for it now with high blood sugars and the most incredible uncomfortableness in my tum :(

Oh, and I appear to have become lactose intolerant. All that extra yogurt and milk I was advised to eat for calcium was turning from uncomfortable guts to painful.

Belly button is starting to change shape getting wider and shallower, with a knobby bump at the top. I have also noticed some tiny veins appearing on the skin at the base of ribs on both sides. No stretch marks yet but I'm using some nice smelling body butter to prevent them (not holding my breath) but it does help with the itchy skin a bit.

Here is a belly pic for you:




That's the Dexcom sensor, and I am really reacting to the adhesive now that all the skin is stretching. Also, no, those pants are not done up. Not even close lol

14w1d Bleeding at 13w6d weeks pregnant

Last post I wrote Monday morning, expecting to go and have my nuchal translucency scan later that afternoon. We were planning to take a short holiday trip across the island and in the course of packing became a bit late and had to rush to the scan. Turns out the day started as it meant to go on, as I had gotten the times mixed up and our appointment was not 1pm but 4pm! So that would delay our trip (5hr travel time). We went home, double checked the pack-list and grabbed all the things we had forgotten, then hopped around to my parents' place for a cup of tea and a debrief.

In the car on the way there (4pm) the ultrasound clinic called and apologised: the OB/tech (who is the best in our province, but is private = expensive = only using her for some scans) had to rush to the hospital to deal with a woman in labour. So. No way to have the scan. I started to get agitated as I knew that the scan would only be possible up to 13w6d, and although the ultrasound clinic wanted to re-schedule me for the next day we would be out of town by then. Plus Hubby sort of still didn't really want to do the scan at all. I could try and get my midwife to organise to have the scan at our holiday destination (fun). Or the clinic said they would try and swap another patient so I could get a slot on Thursday, which would be the last day I could have the scan by my count - going from the date of conception. Or we could just not do the scan and only do more blood tests later in trimester 2. Then the receptionist was telling me I had my dates all wrong and I was actually not that far along and I could possibly wait even further. She wasn't really listening to me, just telling me I had it all wrong. Not helpful! I know the date of conception down to the hour for crying out loud!

So, with that, we started out trip and I tried to put if out of my mind. We were only really away for a day, but managed to get in some mountain biking and sailing. Both of which freaked me out. The mountain biking was supposed to be a gentle, flat ride along the banks of a beautiful river. Well, it turned out to be a thin gravel track that went UP and DOWN. I have never ridden that sort of track before and couldn't really control my bike well on the multiple down-hill segments with the gravel skidding my bike out from under me. Long story short I had a panic attack as I thought I was about to crash / roll over / tumble into the river. Oh, and I was having a low (hypo) at the same time! What fun! I was unable to stop from panting these really deep fast breaths and wheezing and trying not to cry and feeling sick and my arms and legs just locked up like stone on the bike. Hubby looked after me and got juice and a muesli bar into me. I recovered ok and we were able to bike back slowly. I did feel much better on the way back as I knew what to expect of the terrain, and Hubby showed me a technique with the brakes which helped me control my bike better.

The sailing was fun although at the first turn I thought we were about to tip over and squealed like a mad thing! hehe The lake was a bit choppy and it was just the pair of us on this tiny little yacht. But very cool experience. Boy did I sleep well that afternoon. We cooked a lovely BBQ at the motel that evening and had cheesecake for dessert.

The drive back the next day took a little longer as we headed up to another city to collect youngest-step-son from his friend's place, then drive us all back home. On the way back I got a bad headache that was awful by the time we got home. I managed to eat some dinner then went straight to bed with 2 paracetamol.

At 2.30am that morning (Thursday 9 Jan) the Dexcom woke me up with a noisy beepy alarm: low. I trundled out to the kitchen to get some juice, as has become my custom in the wee hours of the mornings, and took a detour to the loo first. And there it was. Bright red. Bleeding. No pain, just a feeling I can only describe as numbness, like my heart just sank. I knew that if this was going to go badly, there would be nothing anyone could do about it, and that it would hurt a lot. With no baby at the end.

Aware enough to realise that the low could be part of the problem, I drank down some juice and went back to the bedroom to wake Hubby and tell him. After about ten minutes he asked if I was still bleeding so I went back to check, and it seemed to have mostly stopped. We live 5 mins from the hospital so it would have been foolish not to pop up there and get checked out. Yay: A&E in the middle of the night; my favourite :-/

Thankfully the ER waiting room was blissfully empty and quiet. I rang the bell and the triage nurse came out. I gave her my name, how many weeks pregnant I was (13w5/6d) and the fact that I was bleeding. She took us straight through to the triage room behind the automated security doors, and asked me questions while Hubby filled out the paperwork. From my answers the triage nurse was able to determine that I had a "light bleed" but it would be worth checking anyway, and that there was not much they could do except wait in circumstances like these. She slipped a cute little pulse/ox meter on my finger and announced that at 99% oxygen saturation that was a good sign.

The triage nurse took me around the corridor to a private room and a cheerful ER nurse arrived. She was really sweet and gave me "points" for knowing what my blood type was! She took my blood pressure, temperature and pulse and they all came back normal. Next in came the doctor who asked similar questions: when did it start? (2.30am) how many pads? (none!) do you have any pain? (just some mild pressure and ache as I normally have had that I associate as being normal for me being pregnant. Is this your first pregnancy? yes. Any allergies? (no) etc.

Both the doctor and the nurse agreed that the low blood sugar (hypoglycemia) could have maybe had something to do with the bleed, but it could also have to do with the mountain biking or exhaustion. They listed it as a threatened miscarriage and explained gently that the only thing they could do is check for the heartbeat with ultrasound (a strong and healthy heartbeat was present immediately! The most wonderful news in the world!) and do an internal exam to gauge the blood loss and possible cause. They took a urine sample and tested for signs of infection but everything came back negative. Swabs were taken although the results of those won't be available until next week at my GP's office. So in all, it seemed mild, although they noted that it could progress further. They told me to take it very easy for the next four days, and were happy that I had the NT ultrasound that afternoon. We were sent home and I didn't sleep very much for the rest of the night worrying about every little twinge and ache I felt. I was rolling over very carefully!

In the morning I felt fine. Hubby went to work and I tried to do as little as possible. Mainly this consisted of calling all my healthcare providers to get their advice:

First up, the midwife: she listened carefully and asked me more questions. She promised to contact the on-call specialist at the hospital for more advice, but she advised me to get in touch with my diabetes nurse to adjust the pump settings as she suspected the low blood sugar of being a potential cause.

Diabetes nurse: I got her on the phone the second try (a miracle! It sometimes takes days to get through to her as she is soooo busy with patients). She spoke to me for a good 20 mins and we made adjustments to the basal rates of my midnight to 6am rates. In the two days since, I have lowered these rates even further and I am very close to having a night sans-hypos! Yipee!

Midwife again: she called back and advised that the Charge Midwife at the hospital had advised more frequent monitoring (I think that means Doppler?) and I should come in on Sunday (tomorrow) to the Labour and Delivery ward where my midwife was having a clinic. So that will be an experience. I certainly didn't expect to be going there this soon. Oh, and I also have an appointment booked with the hospital OB. Finally.

Later in the day, we went to the ultrasound clinic for the NT ultrasound scan. I told the OB what had happened the night previously and she immediately got to work looking for the baby and any potential problems. She found the baby straight away (it's hard to miss now. I even have a mini-bump!) and found the probable cause of the bleed too: I have a low-lying placenta. It's completely covering the "exit" and she told us that it could easily be disturbed or aggravated by sudden jostling movements. Such as bike riding. Boo. I love bike riding! She went on to say that at 13 weeks it was too early to diagnose placenta previa as it will most likely migrate up higher, however I should have it checked at 20 weeks to make sure.

Knowing what had caused the bleed was such a huge relief, although the OB did say that I can expect more bleeds which freaks me out a bit. I have been being very careful with my movements since then, but I am still active.

Then the checks for the baby began: she did the NT measurement three times throughout the 20 min scan just to triple check, and each time the result came back just slightly over 2mm. If the result is 2.5mm+ then that strongly indicates Down's Syndrome as the likelihood of potential heart defects causing excess fluid is much higher in that case. So, passed that one.

And then she started looking at everything else. I had only really thought to worry about the NT check, but she was looking for the correct number of arms! I hadn't thought about that! It was all fine. We saw two arms, two legs, five fingers on each hand. The spine. The CRL was 7.71cm and this put the fetus at about 13w3d (3 days slower that what I thought from the conception date). She measured the head size and looked at the brain, stomach, bladder, legs, knees, and the mouth which was swallowing. We could see the stomach filling with liquid as the scan went on! She took at few photos for us and seemed much happier and more interested this time, probably because there was so much more to see.

She checked the rest of my uterus and found a fibroid (towards the top, I think?) in the uterine muscle itself. Apparently this is of no cause for concern at the moment.

So overall it has been an absolutely exhausting week. Good news in the end, out little one is still going strong, kicking up a storm in there.

Thanks for reading this far. Here are some pics as your reward:

Our little one dancing and waving and kicking!

Here you can see the brain and the mouth, nose, and the right arm and hand.

My mini-bump. I can just get my pants done up. And those are stretch jeans too! Gone with a blue inset 30 for my Animas pump at the moment.

Slightly belated: 7w6d ultrasound

Sorry to keep you all waiting so long, my only excuse is that I have been exhausted. Like, take a nap at 3pm exhausted!

Great news: we had the "8 week" ultrasound done on Thursday 28th 2013 when I was 7w6d.

Here is a piccy:

The size of a raspberry? Kidney bean?

If you need help deciphering the picture, the line between the two little white crosses is the crown to rump length CRL 1.29cm, and the head is down with bum up. The left curve is the back, and the interesting fluffy parts on the right is the umbilical cord, and perhaps arm and leg paddles? Who knows. We saw a good heartbeat of 164bpm which the OB/sonographer said was right on target. She also looked a bit bored but basically told us that everything looks right on track.

I have never been so relieved to see some flashing, pulsing pixels in my life.

Hubby filmed it on his phone, so I will try and post the video up sometime too.

When the OB checked my ovaries, she said they were still quite swollen, and even asked if I had been overstimulated. They were big and empty looking. She said they were still recovering, but I hadn't expected that to take so long. Who knew the ER would be so damaging to them?

In other news, we had another chat about the ante-natal testing, and Hubby basically came to the conclusion that I will worry like a crazy woman unless I know, and I came to the conclusion that if it was really that important to him I could live with not doing the testing. End result is that we have agreed to do the testing including blood screening test and nuchal translucency ultrasound scan. I am pretty relieved about that. It means a great deal to me that should we find anything, I can have time to prepare myself.

Symptoms? Yes. Plenty.

Sheer and all-encompassing exhaustion is the major one at the moment. I am fine (sort of) and awake one moment, and the next I am the walking dead. lol. Mostly I can get through the day, but I am taking some serious cat-naps in the weekends.

No morning sickness. And that is the way I have decided it shall stay! There has been a little bit of mild nausea, but it's actually more like what I would describe as extreme hunger. As a diabetic I don't get hungry, like ever and this is because I am and have always eaten on a regular schedule. On the rare occasions when I have experienced hunger (from illness etc) I never really recognise it as such, and it instead feels a lot like a cold, slightly nauseas feeling radiating out from my sternum/high-stomach area. It's not an "I'm about to puke" feeling, and it usually goes away with application of noms.

I am sneezing a lot at the moment, not sure if it's hayfever or just irritation from the increased blood supply to well, everywhere including my nose that's doing it. It's tolerable but if it gets much worse I will have to look and see if I can take any hayfever meds... don't like my chances though.

Peeing is my new hobby. My record at night is 3 times. And none of those was caused by a low or low alarm.

Prunes and kiwifruit are my new best friends, as are bottles of water.

My diabetes is being...predictable. Well, almost. It's not terribly stable, in that I am going low multiple times per day (and night), but the predictability comes in the timing of those lows. They tend to happen about 2hrs post meal. My DNE nurse put my I:C ratios up for all main meals a couple of weeks ago when I was still having quite a few highs. At the time I thought the increases in I:Cs were a bit late, since I could already tell that my blood sugars were dropping. And now they are tanking multiple times per day, however the insulin doesn't kick in soon enough if I take it when I start eating (I know, I know, supposed to take it earlier!) and I am still getting a noticeable rise in blood sugar after a meal. Trouble is by the time the bulk of the insulin is kicking in, the food is wearing off and that's when I go low.

When I was last on the phone to my DNE she recommended that I eat a lot MORE food and a lot more fat and protein, especially for lunch. Well, I have been trying that for a week now. I feel stuffed to the gunnels most of the time and have regained half a kilo (after losing 1.5Kg in 2 weeks which is what got her so worried). I do get more hunger feelings that I am used to, however I cannot really handle eating this quantity of food PLUS all the emergency food I am eating/drinking to get my blood sugars up when they go low.

This evening I went to the supermarket to get three things: yoghurt, strawberries, and bananas. Smoothie time. Well, I pulled into the carpark and since my Dex was still on start-up, I did a quick test. 3.8mmol so I drank a juice, ate an afghan bar and decided to wait. The Dex and Vibe then both started bleating for calibration tests, so I did those too. My brain was foggy but not so foggy that I couldn't do a quick nip into the supermarket. I had a written list and I thought I had just eaten all of my food - turns out my foggy brain had completely forgotten about the pack of jelly beans in the globe box, as well as doing anything sensible like phoning Hubby. Sigh. My brain just gets super fixated on a single thing, in this case I knew that the supermarket had food, and I knew I needed sugar, so that's where I went.

Got a trolley to hang on to instead of just a basket, and started working my way slowly through the shop to get the items on the list. Note to self: do not shop while low. What should have been a $15 trip cost $90!!!! All manner of tasty treats found their way into my trolley! Whoops! Just before I got to the checkout, I started to panic a bit as the low symptoms were coming on really strongly. I must have been looking rather pale as several shelf-packers gave me weird looks. I headed to the drink aisle to get something sweet and fast. Ended up grabbing a bottle of lucozade which is 68g of carbs in a bottle, but no caffeine - I checked.

At the checkout, the woman in the queue in front of me was taking forever. Then she decided to pay using a credit card that wouldn't scan. The receipt finally printed and the checkout-chick tried to fold it up, got is scrumpled up, tried again, and again; there was lots of smiling and laughing amongst them while I contemplated breaking all the social conventions of supermarket shopping by ripping into the lucozade before actually buying it. I had my eftpos card out and ready. I was standing with both feet flat, the trolley wedged against the counter so that I could lean on it. Even in my hazy mind I knew that 3 point support wouldn't tip over! Finally I got my groceries scanned, paid for and bagged, and headed out to the car. Got things loaded in ok, all while the world wooshed and fuzzed around me. A bit of a mix between extreme tiredness and hyper-sensitivity to lights and colours. My brain slows right down and I must carefully check every thought to ensure that what I am doing is correct, will use the least energy until I can get more glucose in me, and will not be liable to draw unwanted attention to me. I am quite good at this (I think) so managed to do a moderate sized grocery shop on a blood sugar of about 3mmol (and it was still dropping at one point, with Dex alarms blaring!) all while no one around me was any the wiser.

Got that lucozade in me, waited, tested and as soon as my brain felt ok, and the test was over 5mmol I drove home.

Hoping to get my DNE nurse on the phone early this week to see what she suggests to sort this out. And eating more is not practical!!! I just do not have room!

Only a could of weeks of work left and then I will be on Christmas holidays. Yay!

Thank you to everyone who wrote comments on my last post with advice and support. I really appreciate you help :D

Our Pre-IVF Appointment

Yesterday we had our pre-IVF appointment in Hamilton. It went very well and Hubby and I are both much more relaxed about the process. :)

We travelled up (3hrs) on Thursday, had an interesting meal at a restaurant named after a lizard, and stayed in a nearly-brand new motel which was superb. Our appointment was for 11.40am on Friday 6th September so after a breakfast at a kitchen over in East-Hamilton, we had some time to kill.

A walk around the lake sounded like a fine idea, but the wind got up and then it got nasty-bitter, so much so that my ears were aching bad :( So we experimented with the navigation app on Hubby's new phone and drove to the botanic gardens which wasn't so windy-pants.

The appointment itself was very good. We learnt a lot and left feeling like the process is truly underway now.

In the waiting room, our old doctor walked in and although she smiled and said hi, she couldn't really look Hubby in the eye. Awkward! :/ For a moment there I thought there had been some mistake and we would still have to see her.

But our new doc, the head of the clinic Dr S came out and greeted us shortly afterwards. He was very friendly and seemed genuinely happy to meet with us. First up, he mentioned how he was familiar with our file and he confirmed that we had now transferred to his care. The relief I felt at hearing this was quite surprisingly strong and I immediately felt confident about our treatment - for I think the first time ever.

Dr S explained that we would be good candidates for a newer IVF regimen. As he put it, at least there was some silver-lining to having to wait so long! So we will be using a drug called Elonva which is a one-shot injection that replaces 7 daily FSH injections. Personally, I don't mind having to do injections (hey, I do about 8 a day already!) but I like the other benefit of Elonva: the action profile seems to make sense to me. He explained how it has been created by taking the FSH molecule, which has a half life of about a day, and combining it with a segment of the hCG molecule which imparts it's 7 day half. He said the results are equivalent or better to what they are seeing as with patients using the traditional daily injections. Oh yeah, and no down-regulation will be necessary with this protocol which means no menopause which is the most terrific news you can give to a woman, let alone a T1D woman! Yay! :D

We discussed my AMH test (which was 9.35 about a year ago) and Dr S advised that I should do another one that day since it would be funded as part of the cycle. We talked about how it is kind of useful to have such long term (3 years worth) data on my FSH (latest: 5.5), oestradiol and AMH levels.

Since we have good quality sperm frozen already, it all came down to what my body is doing. I must say I was immediately nervous when Dr S said he wanted to re-check the AMH since it was just at the cusp of the "green" level last time, but he didn't expect it to have altered too much, and he explained how it is variable. He wouldn't be worried unless it was 3 or below, and treatment wouldn't change unless it was below 5 or above 20.

We talked about my diabetes and how that is controlled, and this time it it felt like I was really being listened to when I spoke about my diabetes treatment. Because it DOES matter. I told him how I will be going on a pump on September 18th (in fact, my prescription was written last week and I should pick it up from the pharmacy this coming week! Exciting!), and Hubby talked about how I need any IV lines placed as early as possible to avoid my veins collapsing with a hypo in pre-op.

I had prepared a short list of questions with Hubby the night before, and they had pretty much all been answered before I even got to ask them :) The only thing he raised that I wasn't expecting was that both of us would need to do a short course of antibiotics, and that because of my diabetes I would need some antibiotics prior to egg retrieval / transfer (I can't remember which oops).

One thing that we spent a lot of time on was getting an idea of possible scenarios and outcomes. Although we have been given a 40 - 50% chance of IVF working, there are many ways this could play out:

• IVF stimulation works perfectly first time (best guess for drugs, dosages, and timing)
• Could result in a positive pregnancy test, which could result in a baby... or not.
• I could get OHSS (Ovarian Hyper Stimulation Syndrome) which would probably mean the cancellation of the cycle while I recover.
• Dr S expects us to retrieve about 10 eggs, although this is of course just a guess. Out of that he estimates we may get 1 - 3 usable blastocysts, so maybe one or two to freeze. But maybe none. I really hope we get some to freeze!
• If I make it through the stims alright, but get OHSS which makes embryo transfer not a good plan, then we could do a "freeze all" cycle, which apparently has very good outcomes and Dr S said that there is some research to suggest that all IVD cycles should be freeze all so that the woman can rest and recover her body for best possible chances.
• So depending on what the embryologist thinks, we may end up transferring day 3 or day 5. Only day 5 embryos are frozen, and of course there is the chance that they may all need to be frozen if I am in no fit state for a transfer.
• If this first transfer is unsuccessful, then we can continue and do FETs with the remaining frosties. These are all considered part of our first cycle. If none of these work, then we can apply for a second funded cycle, but there would be a waiting time of between 6 and 12 months for this. Any pregnancy from the first cycle negates the second funded round of treatment. I am not sure if by "pregnancy" they mean "live birth" or just a positive pregnancy test??? Will have to find out, not that it will change much...

We discussed the fact that I would need a high-risk obstetrician, and although I knew this, I asked if we should secure one now or wait until I'm actually pregnant? His opinion was that we didn't need any more pre-conception counselling (although he offered us IVF counselling - which would have been useful, like, 3 years ago maybe!!) and he recommended one out of the two high-risk OBs in our home town. Now I need to find out a) how expensive they are to attend privately, and b) since I am diabetic I will be needed one anyway, so could I choose which one? I wonder...

Dr S wanted to do an internal ultrasound to check my follicles (antral follicle count), so we got to meet our new nurse and even before I'd seen her, I was behind a curtain stripping of my pants lol. I was pleased with myself for wearing cute socks and entirely by accident! We got on well immediately and it was all so much easier and relaxed than with the previous doc and her nurse. So, anyway. No pants, ultrasound, Hubby, nurse and doc in the room with me. Should have been unnerving but I always find any chance to look at my insides just fascinating. I was asking lots of questions and the doc explained it very well, showing that my uterus is looking good with lining and no polyps (which I had been worried about), and then looking at the right ovary which proved hard to find as normal, then the left. All up I had 11 follicles with one showing the corpus luteum - a burst follicle indicating I had probably ovulated the day before on the 5th Sept. Interesting, as this means I will finally be able to work out precisely how long my lutenising phase is. :P

Although I was worried about what the AMH re-test might show (we won't get the answers for another two weeks) Dr S said that the antral follicle count number usually is very closely related to the AMH number, and he expected my AMH re-test to come in anywhere between 8 - 11. So, good, predictable news. In fact, the whole appointment was just all about good news!

After the scan, we went through to the nurse's office to discuss our plan and have our drug training, which although was not scheduled for the day, they decided would be fine to do so we wouldn't have to make another trip up just to be taught how to do a handful of injections. I mean, really. I have done tens of thousands of injections. I am NOT freaked out by needles, only by the actual drugs themselves. Who knows what holy-hell they are going to play on my diabetes?

She gave us our plan, and discussed how it would all occur. We got our drugs in a little green cooler bag, just about the right size for a six-pack, along with a sharps container and enough alcohol wipes to do 36 injections - just a bit overkill. I only have 1 Elonva injection to stimulate egg growth, then about 5 Orgalutran injections to prevent premature ovulation, and other meds will be added later as they work out how my cycle is progressing. The FSH may need to be topped up, and of course there will be a trigger shot at some stage.

I got three scripts for antibiotics, plus blood-draw forms and a serial blood draw card to make things easier but it turns out that I won't have to do any in hometown, and it looks like there will be approx 3 more trips up to Hamilton (1 for scan and blood draw, 1 for egg retrieval, 1 for transfer) I think. Just as well we've found a really good motel. It will be hard getting time off work, because Hubby is just starting in his new position and I have a rigid weekly schedule, but I have given my employer over 1 years heads-up so there can't be any complaints there, I will just have to do a lot of prep work so my job can be covered appropriately. 

Oh yeah, and did I mention that I am turning bionic on September the 18th? More to come on that adventure... :)

A sneak peek preview

Today I celebrate 100 posts and 20 followers (Hi you lovely followers you!)

I am giving you all the opportunity to help me in my mission to get funding for our IVF.

This is my letter that I am planning to send to my local Member of Parliament. If you can spare me a few minutes to read it, and comment or email me with your thoughts I will be forever in your debt. I really need to know I'm doing the right thing here, saying the right thing. This letter could win the battle for us. What do you think?

Also, in case you're curious, here is the CPAC form as mentioned in the letter.

Thank you thank you thank you for reading and helping me fight for justice!

xxx

Kaitake

More blood tests tomorrow

Oh! *looks at clock* Actually, I meant later TODAY! haha :P

I will finally get the last of my pre-fertility-clinic blood tests done. All that's left for me is Day 2 FSH, LH, and Oestradiol, and Hubby's immunology tests. It's been a drama for me to get this test done, as the world and my body seems to always be conspiring against me.

First it was just plain old forgetting. My first "Day 2" occurred the day after the ob/gyn dropped the whole IVF bombshell in my lap. So I was not really in the right headspace to remember ANYTHING at that stage. The next Day 2 I just plain old forgot. Trust me, I was kicking myself when I realised I had missed that opportunity! :S

Next up, I had the hysteroscopy operation, which triggered an early period. So I didn't know when exactly Day 2 was. Sigh.... more waiting.

That brings us to today (ok, it's the middle of the night still :P). And I am proud to have remembered! Now... if only my ob/gyn will get my referral letter written and sent....  :)

In Other News
or, to congratulate you for reading through such a damn boring post :P

Have you seen Dumbo Feather, pass it on? It's a half mag/half book and I luuuurve it. I saw the publisher, Kate Bezar, speak at a conference 2 years ago and I've been on the lookout for Dumbo Feather ever since. Sometimes it can be hard to find, but it's worth it when you do! Unlike most mags, it's not full of glossy yucky ads. It's not full of beautiful people. And it's not full of "filler" body copy. It's a beautiful tactile size on quality matte stock, with gorgeous photography and best of all, 5 interviews/essays/articles per issue.

Have a great weekend! :D

When patience is not a virtue

We have been sitting here patiently waiting for an appointment for our first consult at the fertility clinic since Feb 2010. Yesterday I called my ob-gyn's office to see what was happening. He's supposed to be writing a referral letter to the fertility clinic for us. The lovely receptionist called me back today, to let me know that my paper work was "still in her typing pile" and she "would do it tomorrow", which is today. Argh! All that time wasted! Nearly 4 months :(

Oh well, at least I called - now things should get rolling, hopefully.

p.s. took my first pre-natal vitamins this morning. Feels good.

Today was a test for me: I had nothing planned. No work to go to. No appointments with lawyers. No Hubby home from work to talk to. All my friends and family would be at their jobs all day. I had to find something to do!

I've done 2 loads of washing. I cleaned the kitchen. I wrote my resume. I hunted for jobs online (and found 2 which I will apply for, but I don't realistically expect to get). I did the groceries, and bought a new hairbrush. I bought the prettiest pink nail polish because the colour made me happy (Orly's Je t'aime - you really can't got wrong with a name like that!).

And I finally "manned up" and went to speak to my lovely pharmacist about pre-natal vitamins. They were fantastic! They loaded me up with this Blackmore's Pregnancy and Breastfeeding Gold, and also a special 5mg folic acid supplement to take because I'm a T1.

I tried calling my ob/gyn to see why I haven't had a referral to the fertility clinic yet, but the kindly receptionist explained that they were swamped and could she call back tomorrow? Come to think of it, I'm also waiting on a call from the lawyer today... and that hasn't happened either.

Oh, and I got woken up this morning by a phone call from my lovely aunt. She's an absolute sweetie. While my Dad is stressed about my "redundancy" and gets all worried, my aunt gets MAD! She was telling me not to sign anything! Take them to court! Get their name smeared across the papers etc etc. Sigh. If I was a rich girl... maybe I would consider doing that sort of thing. At the moment I think I will have to let them buy me off, because I can't afford the possibility of losing an employment battle.

I had noticed that my blood sugars had been riding quite high over the high-stress days of the last week. Yesterday, they were approaching normal, but after the phone call with Auntie I was back up to the ceiling. :P I've just got to try and keep calm. Everyone keeps telling me they can't believe how calm and "together" I seem to be. Well, maybe it's because at the end of the day I am happy to get out of that place, and now I feel very much like I've been given a second chance. (Don't get me wrong. My boss is still a raving lunatic. And what he did was still incredibly illegal in this day and age, there's no doubt about that.) I believe this will give me some time to re-evaluate what's important in my life, and create some new plans. :)

So, how's your Monday?

My operation went well...

... or, How I ended up with puffy clown hands!

WARNING: this is a long one. Also, it has some icky bits which I don't recommend if you are not a fan of blood, needles, surgery etc. It also may not be the most wonderful piece of prose you've ever read, due to my feeling absolutely whacked, and having sore hands. You've been warned.

Today is Friday, and I've been relaxing and making feijoa relish with my Mum after my hysteroscopy operation yesterday.

Here is the story from Thursday morning...

I had to wake up at the unholy hour of 6.30am to eat my (tiny) breakfast of 1 piece of toast and cup of tea. Because my surgery was scheduled for 12.00 I was on strict instructions to limit food intake. I ate my brekky, take my normal dose of Lantus, and a smaller dose of Humalog, just 3.5u, and crawled back into bed with hubby and kitty.

Cue a rude-awakening by the painters who are doing a marvelous job of making our house look all pretty. I'm hungry. I don't normally get hungry, cos I eat pretty consistently at the same times every day. I watch my hubby as he prepares delicious looking marmite on toast for his breakfast. Oh that smells gooooood! I mix up a drink bottle of sugar water, the only carb I will be allowed to take should I go low. This follows me everywhere I go.

We go to town and do some errands, with me checking my blood sugar roughly every hour. I've never had such a stable day in all my life! I'm flatlining at about 11 mmol/L.

We get back home just in time to pack a few bits and pieces and head up to the hospital for my check-in. We walk up, cos we live that close :)

I'm first on the list as we check into the day ward, and the receptionist is bright and cheery. She tells me I have a list of people who will come to see me (like my anaesthetic team, my ob/gyn), and we are directed to a waiting area. I just have time to sit down and start doing a quick blood test when my name is called.

The nurse takes us into a little room where she takes my pulse (99 bpm), blood pressure, and checks my chart. She figures out I'm diabetic because I'm still in the middle of my blood test! Luckily, she has a bit of experience with "brittle diabetics" before, and everything she says is just what I want to hear: "You know your body and your diabetes best, so we will just follow your lead", "Hubby knows about your diabetes? Yes? Good, we will get him to stay with you.", "Yes, you can use your own test kit" :D I like this nurse :D She offers to tell all the other nurses of my situation, and then says "No, I will organise it so that I'm your nurse all day!" Yay! Someone who understands! (unlike my anaesthetist! more on that later...)

Oh yeah, and because I'm having "gynie" surgery, she asks me to take a pregnancy test. I mean, that's kinda why we're here! Getting ready for visiting a fertility clinic! haha :P

I have a shared room, but at the start it's just me. I have a gorgeous mumu of a hospital gown to change into, and lovely nurse brings me warm blankets to snuggle into. Hubby stays with me and we read crappy womens mags and wait and wait and wait. I'm testing my blood sugar about every 30 mins now. Sitting at about 8 - 9 mmol/L. Couldn't be happier with that.

I'm a bit apprehensive, but it's more the boredom of waiting. We find a half-done crossword in the back of one of the mags and get stuck into that when my South-American anaesthetist arrives to check on me. Then my ob/gyn comes by and I sign the surgical consent form. Everything is going swell. Everyone is happy. Apart from my surgery getting delayed due to an emergency cesarean, everything is going according to plan. My blood sugar is about 6.8 mmol/L when I hear my name called.

Suddenly it's all go. I meet what feels like 17 new people all at once. Everyone introduces themselves with their first name, which I immediately forget. I put on a hair-net, and get wheeled into pre-op. Hubby comes too, on special orders of lovely nurse.

It feels odd being wheeled about. I can walk fine. We go out the doors of day ward, though the lobby area, and into pre-op. I get put into a new cubicle, which is much more high-tech than the last one. Many more buttons on the wall behind me! There are people in the other cubicles who are in various stages of readiness for surgery.

I want to do another blood test, but a nurse grabs my left hand and begins to search for a vein to put an IV line in. Hubby is on my right, and I ask him to do my test for me. We had a little practice in the day ward. Nurse inserts the cannula. Wiggles it around a bit. "That's starting to hurt a bit" I say. Hubby can't get any blood out of my finger. I feel a bit sick. The nurse is still wiggling the cannula. The back of my hand swells with blu-ish coloured blood. "I feel sick" Hubby tries another finger. The cannula has failed. They can't get the line in. Another nurse, and my anaesthetist appear. Everyone is swarming around me. A test of 4.8 mmol/L. I'm dropping like a stone. They try my right hand. I am getting giddy and the room is starting to swim. They try vein after vein. I am going low. "Sugar!!!!" I call. And "Ow ow ow it hurts" as they put countless cannulas into the backs of my hands and wrists, trying desperately to get a line in so they can give me dextrose.

The room spins, I feel VERY sick. My head falls back. Black. The most comfortable, familiar dream. Then I fall out, fall back onto the bed. "Is it over?" No. I had blacked out, and woken with a start, I hear hubby say "I think she's having a siezure", the anaesthetist says "she can't be, she's only 4.8, that's not low enough to be seizing". I'm lower than that. At this stage I have about 5 punctures in my hands. I can't hold a finger-pricker, I can't bend my fingers, there is massive swelling and bruising.

Because I went hypo, and I was stressed, and cold, my veins just basically closed up. Each time they would get the cannula into the vein, there was no pressure to push blood into it, the vein collapsed, so the line would fail. When the cannula was pulled out, blood would suddenly gush under the skin, and puff my hand out all blue. When I awoke from my black out, hubby said I kicked out, and ripped cannula number 5 out of my right hand somehow. So at this stage, I'm still very low, just come back conscious, and still have no line in. Two more tries. One on my left hand, another on my right. There is intense pain in both hands. I think I throw up about here sometime. They don't get me a dish in time and I wear it. "Sorry, sorry" I say. I feel terrible. Absolutely awful. Like there is a buffalo sitting on my chest, and a magnetic storm in my brain, and custard and vinegar in my stomach. Hubby holds my head, he's all I see.

The anaesthetist takes a breath. Asks for a larger grade pink cannula. Puts in in my left arm, further up this time. "Protect this, wrap it up good. We can't lose this line" she orders. I am pumped full of the strongest dextrose they have. And a electrolyte/dextrose drip is installed. Cue spew. Well, I just had a hypo! Everyone breathes a sigh of relief. Hubby tests me again, I'm up to 8 mmol/L in less than a minute. Amazing stuff.

And then it's time for hubby and I say our "I love yous" and I get wheeled into the operating room. I still feel quite out of it. The OR is not far away, just across the corridor from the pre-op room. I remember the ceiling was grey, the room was cool and airy, there were blue flat panel displays on the right wall, and enormous gleaming white contraptions coming from the roof. Huge lights. I wasn't scared. These people were all friendly and professional. I say "I feel sick" (yes, I know I should be saying "I'm gonna be sick", but give me a break!), and again, I wear it. They get me a bowl, I apologise for making their lovely room smell so bad.

The anaesthetist explains that she is going to give me something to calm me down. She tells the others in the room that I am diabetic "and she's very emotional" I want to rip her head off. No, I'm not emotional. I've just had a f*cken hypo you b1tch! But I am all calm on the outside, and the sedative is so good. The nausea goes away, I regain full cognisance, it seems. I half sit up and see my ob/gyn at the end of the bed. He will be my surgeon today.

A nurse asks if I feel able to scoot across to my right, to the operating table. I get halfway, and the sheet covering me gets stuck. :P Cue various nurses feeling under me to get the caught bit free!

A pillow under my shoulders, lie down. A soft oxygen mask over my nose, but too low so the soft bit squashes my nostrils. I ask for it to go "up, up" and they move it off my face a bit. Soft eyes of the nurse to my right. A black padded extension on my left for my arm to be strapped to, with the IV line in it. It reminds me of the tables you see in movies with the lethal injection. But I'm not scared. Just calm.

The nurses want to know about one of their colleagues, who I know and said hello to in the pre-op room, before all the brouhaha. We went to kung-fu classes together I tell them. Didn't you know? Oops, looks like I've spilled the beans! "Was he good at kung-fu?" they ask. Yep. "Just think of something nice, like kung-fu maybe? Oh, no! Not fighting! Just think of something nice..." I think of my hubby and my kitty. Gentle soft thoughts.

That was at about 2.00pm. I awake in the recovery room, which happens to be the same cubicle as the pre-op. Hubby isn't there. He's supposed to be there. I can't get the energy to ask for him though. A male nurse asks if I have any pain? A little cramping. He gets me a warm blanket all folded up, and places it on my tummy. I've very impressed, since he's a guy and all. But I don't open my eyes. Another nurse asks me if I would like to do a blood test. Yes. It's 11.9 she says. Is that ok for you? Yes. The blood pressure cuff keeps automatically inflating, and stirring me out of sleep.

I don't remember the ride back across to the day ward, but I remember waking up and getting a kiss from hubby. He looks shattered. I'm sick some more. They say something about my pulse, it's down at about 65 bpm. Tests are hovering around 12 mmol/L. Feel yucky, drowsy, dozy. It's about 4.30pm.

All afternoon is spent sleeping and waking to do tests. The lovely nurse asks if I want to eat something, and suddenly I do. She brings two sandwiches, and gives me the wrong one, plus a cup of tea, one sugar. Don't feel like eating. If I move my head, bad things happen. If I don't eat, they won't let me go home. If I am sick again, they will keep me overnight. I nibble on the luncheon, relish and cheese sandwich. It is the most delicious thing I've ever tasted.

I ask Hubby if he's had anything to eat? Here, have my sandwich, you have to eat something! Lovely nurse comes back and thinks I'm making remarkable progress hehe :P

The afternoon is boring. Poor hubby stays by my side. I suddenly seem to get all better, and start talking sense. Lovely nurse agrees, and says that she will bring me some wash cloths. Hubby will walk home to get the car, and a coat for me, since it has started snowing on the mountain.

I am left alone to figure out how to get dressed with an IV still attached. I can't figure out how on earth I'm supposed to put my bra on with one hand. I am very pleased to be standing up and not too woozy. Just do everything slowly. Socks first. Pink t-shirt tangled in IV line. Jeans on. Sneakers. Hmm, can't do the laces with these sore hands. Tie some knots. Busting for a pee. Still attached to the bed!

Hubby returns, his footsteps are the best sound. He asks if I will be ok to go get some dinner. Burger King? Yep! Just what I feel like! He chases down the lovely nurse, and she comes back and untangles and unhooks me. IV out! Yahoo! I get bandages and cream for the bruising, and ice-packs. Coat on. Pit-stop, and then out we go to the car.

And that is my day in the hospital. We escaped around 6.30-ish.

Now I am sitting here typing this v-e-r-y slowly, watching American Idol, seeing Crystal singing I'm Alright by CaddyShack. (Did you know she's a T1?) And I feel fine. No cramps, no pain except for my hands. A bit tired. A weekend ahead of me :D

Morale of the story is this: If you ever EVER have to go in for surgery, and they ask you to stop eating before hand, ask for the IV to be installed as soon as you check in. That way, if you go low, or hypo, you can immediately get some dextrose pumped into you. In my case, something to calm me down wouldn't have gone astray either!

Thanks for reading, hope I haven't put you off your oats! Have a great weekend :D

Two trips to have blood tests

I have spent the lunchtimes of yesterday and today at the medlab, getting my blood drawn for the progesterone tests. Oh what fun! :P

Everything went fine, although I am wondering if I may have to repeat the tests next cycle, since I missed day 17 and got days 18 and 19 instead! The ob/gyn said it should be fine, but since both of the lab techs asked me about it, now I'm not so sure. Oh well, time will tell. It will be interesting to see the results come back.

My appointment with the diabetic endocrinologist is next Monday, and I hope to introduce him to the new diabetes tracking software I've been using. More about that when I have more time :)

Wonderful ladies who blog about diabetes and pregnancy

I just found out that you don't normally get an obstetrician until after you become pregnant, and even then you may not need one.

I feel a bit special, since I've met my ob/gyn already. Have a read through some of my earlier posts to find out how that happened. :)

I would like to share a couple of links with you, to two blogs I am following:

sixuntilme.com

pregnantbethany.blogspot.com

Both of these women blog about their experiences as type 1 diabetics having their first child.

There are plenty of IVF blogs, and even some on youtube, but nothing that has caught my fancy to follow yet. And no luck yet finding a blog dealing with diabetes, pregnancy, IVF, and vasectomy! I will keep looking!

Have my first ob/gyn sanctioned blood tests tomorrow, and I can't wait! (Unusual, I know: normally a blood test is the last thing a diabetic wants!)

Wish me luck! :)

First visit to an ob/gyn

Thanks for joining me again. I'm still in catch-up mode, writing stuff down to help bring you up to speed on where I'm at now.

I went to my first appointment with the ob/gyn to discuss the polyp. The GP had suggested that it was most probably benign, but could in some cases act a bit like an IUD and interfere with any pregnancy attempts. The ob/gyn confirmed this, but he was far more interested in the fact that I was diabetic! And trying to get pregnant! And with a hubby with a 9yr-old vasectomy! How thoroughly interesting! He's a nice chap and put me at ease straight away.

Ob/gyn explained that there were no local fertility services in my city, and that I would have to make the 3 hour trip to another city for treatment should I wish to proceed. He kind of assumed it was all go, although I still thought I was just investigating options.

He wrote letters to the fertility clinic asking them for advice on my case, and we waited a month.

This last week we got a letter back, and I returned to hear the news.

Ob/gyn had basically good news for me. The fertility clinic had recommended not a vasectomy reversal as we had expected, but rather IVF and ICSI (say "icksy"). A vasectomy reversal would have only about a 30% success rate in the first 12 months for us, whereas the IVF/ICSI method would have closer to a 60% success rate.

Of course it's never that simple. With IVF, I would have to take hormonal drugs, which are expensive, and hubby would have to have what's known as a sperm retrieval operation to get sperm for the ICSI procedure.

The doctor went on to explain how the fertility clinic recommended I proceed with getting the (benign) polyp removed from my uterus. The operation, a hysteroscopy, involves general aneasthesia which makes me nervous, as I have reacted badly to local aneasthetic in the past. Also, the idea of giving someone else control of my diabetes for any length of time makes me nervous. I don't care how well the aneasthetist is trained! But that is a hurdle I will deal with when I come to it.

All these things sound expensive, because they are. We're not rich, so the first question out was "how much is all this going to cost?" The doc smiled and told me that in New Zealand the government funds the cost of the first round of fertility treatment. And as a bonus, the hysteroscopy operation would be government funded too. I would have to go on a waitlist for the op, and the fertility clinic would give more details about the treatment.

Ob/gyn wrote official application letters to the fertility clinic, requesting an initial appointment. He also used up most of the rest of his blood-test order forms. I have 3 sets of blood tests to do, and hubby has one. I also have to get the hysteroscopy done before appointment. That's a lot of stuff to do over the next month and a bit!

On top of all that, I want to go back and talk with my endocrinologist and diabetes education nurse. I am quite sure that they had not considered the idea that I would ever have to undergo IVF. (Google suggest that the IVF drugs can screw with type 1 diabetes.) The endo tends to forget the details of my case between 6-monthly visits, so has taken to asking me if I am pregnant, and each time I politely remind him of hubby's vasectomy. sigh. ohwellnevermind. Endo has mentioned that I may be eligible for an funded insulin pump. So I want to ask him a million questions about that, like, if I get pregnant will I need to go on a pump? Should I get on a pump now to get a better HbA1c number? (Currently 8.1, the highest ever :( in my entire life), will consumables be funded? Can I look at getting a CGM too? My diabetes educator actually wears an insulin pump. A rare sight in NZ and even rarer in my small city. Hers was actually the first one I ever saw.

And as a last thought, should I start taking pre-natal vitamins? Is that jumping the gun a bit? :P I don't want to freak hubby out. Although he has agreed to the idea of a child in principle, this whole IVF/operations for both of us thing has completely changed the mix. We both want to meet with the fertility specialist and discuss options and what it all means before committing to this course of action. Although it promises to be cheaper that I had originally imagined, we will still have plenty of travel, time of work, and accommodation to pay for to get to the clinic in the other city. And pretty much every blog I read says that it's a trying and tiring time, which will either bring you together as a couple, or drive you apart. I am really worried about that, as we are happily married and love being together. I know he's a wonderful Dad already, and I am enjoying being a part-time step-mum to his 3 kiddlies. I really hope we can have kid/s of our own.

Wow that's heaps of words, are you feeling as tired as I am? Whew! I am going to make a glossary, as there are plenty of confusing words and acronyms, and just plain kiwi-isms which you may not know.

Thanks for reading, catch you next time.

:)