Saturday, April 9, 2011

When you feel uncomfortable

For me, hell is other people.

Hubby and I have just returned from a 25th wedding anniversary party of a good friend of his. In fact, hubby was one of their groomsmen. 25 years ago I was 3 going on 4. My sister was only a month old.

I had a lot of trouble at the party, and not just my normal issues where I feel uncomfortable because I'm not drinking, don't know what to say, don't know anyone there, or am a good 20 years younger than everyone.

No, tonight was hard work because they were celebrating their 25th wedding anniversary. And I don't know if we will. After 25 years they have 3 kids, a fabulous home etc etc, and I don't know if we will have any of that. I hate when our age difference gets thrown in my face like that  :(

Note: hubby and I love each other very much, and we had a big hug and agreed that neither of us had particularly enjoyed the party and the speeches, but it seems for different reasons. Oh well. Life goes on.

Another note: turns out I am rather low. 3.7mmol/L. May explain the randomness of this post a bit. Today has been odd, food-wise. Woke late at about 11am, and Hubby made breakfast in bed: bacon, eggs, salad, toast. Yum. But a strange-late breakfast combined with a new insulin-carb ratio meant my day has been tough to manage. Blood-sugars = random. Then we completely missed lunch because we were trying to set up a new modem. MUST. HAVE. INTERWEBS! And of course, dinner at the party tonight. I got to try smoked Marlin. Very tasty, but no carbs in fish. Plus some stress, plus walking to and from the party = low.

Anothernother note: it has taken me 2.5 hrs and 1 James Bond movie ("Die another day"? "Never say die"? "Never say die another day?") on late night telly to write this  :P


  1. i totally get this post. Guv and i have a 10 year age difference and while it isn't as much as some people, it does factor into our lives, our lifestyle choices and then later on in life. people who aren't faced with age differences won't see how scary what you wrote actually is, will be to face.

    i do, i get it.


  2. You have a genuine loving relationship that not everybody gets to experience. That is more important than anything. You are more lucky than you man know! thanks for sharing

  3. I hate awkward parties of any kind. Oh they're terrible.

    Trite but at least you have each other - imagine being at an awkward party by yourself.


  4. well done on not letting the pressure from what other people do make you question what you believe - i'm not great in big groups either, but i always think it's good to just go... so well done for attending!

  5. Hi. I saw you comment on Mel's Stirrup Queens blog, and thought I'd visit, as I don't see many other kiwis in the online IF community.

    I don't have an age difference (though my sister does, and worries about it) in my marriage - but I can tell you that we've been married 27 years (yep, I'm old!) and couldn't have kids, and we're closer now than we were in our 20s. Just cos you don't have the four kids and the house doesn't mean it won't be good.