The night before the first IVF injection

Those drugs in the fridge are looming in my mind. Not because of the needles or anything like that, but rather because I am about to step (leap?) into the unknown.

I have no idea if IVF will work for us. We have been given very good chances by our reproductive endo, but still. He also gave us a whole long list of scenarios that could also happen. And I appreciate knowing that things are a bit up in the air at this point.

When I woke up this morning, it was before the alarm had gone off and even before the cat had time to jump on the bed and politely request demand and stomp all over us with wet feet for his breakfast. That familiar cramp. I decided that it was only, maybe, October the 4th??? at best so it must just be lack of a kiwifruit the day before. Oh, I was wrong. This WAS CD1!!! Wow. Never thought I would be telling the interwebs that news, especially not with so many exclamation points lol.

I dug out the phone number for the nurse and called and left her a message. Then I wondered a bazillion things, then ate breakfast.

At work, I kept jumping for the phone. It was my first day back after a short mid-semester break and the change in routine, plus first period with the insulin pump to deal with, plus waiting for the nurse to phone me back with dates and instructions just clouded my brain up real good.

Take some neurofen. Go for a walk with my friend and get doughnuts and hot chocolates. Damn, even the glorious bolus calculator can't figure this one out. Sigh.

She rang and was really personable and happy. Like she remembered who I was and actually cared. I got instructions and dates for what meds to take when, up until day 9 which is when I will need to go in for a scan and bloodwork. Once I got off the phone, I texted Hubby then got online and booked our motel of choice in Hamilton. We are 3hrs away so I will miss a day and a half of work, and since the appointment is early in the morning we will just go up the night before to make it less stressful.

I forgot to tell the nurse I am now on an insulin pump. Thinking about emailing her that info shortly.

My whole focus, my whole energy right now, is on remembering to take the Elonva injection tomorrow. Calmly, and without fuss. I have been harpooning myself every 3 days or so now with insulin pump site changes and dexcom changes, so another needle is not the problem. It's the unknown. I get one shot at this, and if I screw it up with this injection I can't grab another from the local pharmacy or anything.

Oh, speaking of said local pharmacy: I did NOT know that the antibiotics Hubby and I both have to take as part of the IVF stint are not funded. At all. Even worse, because they are prescribed by a specialist, it's a higher prescription charge. Still less than $40 for 4 tablets, but I thought this was publicly funded? I didn't quibble, just paid and decided to be calm.

Other news:

• Hubby has a perfect heart. No really, I know this as a medical fact. Last monday, he dropped the kids off back to their Mum's and then promptly took himself in the the emergency department as he thought he was having a heart attack with chest pain radiating down the left arm with tingles in his hand. He called me at work and we then spent 7hrs in A&E, 3 EKGs, 2 lots of blood work, and a heart attack was ruled out. Stress, they said, but could be angina. So last Thursday he got to do a EKG stress test on a treadmill. They were supposed to get him to exercise to only 80% of the target rate, but pushed him to 110% because they couldn't find anything wrong. Stress, they said. So I have been trying to help Hubby calm down and relax some. He is working the equivalent of 2 x full time jobs, both very stressful. The freelance project with be over soon, and the more "normal" job is offering more security and hours so there is light at the end of the tunnel.
• Last week we averaged a 1hr bike ride per day. Even in the midst of chest-pain-o-rama!
• Holidays are good and I had just remembered how to have them when it turned into time to go back to work. Bah.
• One of our four chickens is sick. She has a sore infected foot and I took her to the vet today. Poor chookie is also now on antibiotics. Enough for a great dane dog, according to the packet!
• Of course, the day I need to be in Hamilton is also the second day of term! I have already provided my payroll lady with a letter from the clinic so I can take IVF days off as sick days which is very good.
• The cat thinks he wants to go to the vet also. He has been catching (big, ginormous) rats and eating just their tails. They, in response, have been scratching him on the eyeballs. Requiring expensive and painful vet treatment and nasty sticky eye ointments which make him think that I never loved him. Poor kitty! I am hoping it's just a sympathy squint cos he saw the cat box I used to transport the chicken in.
• I have a new hobby. I like to burn things. Don't be calling the authorities on me! I am talking about lampworking and making glass beads. Highly addictive and meditative. And beautiful.

Right. Off to take my pre-natal vitamins and watch a video about how to give an Elonva injection. Wish us luck!