Wednesday, April 28, 2010

An unexpected letter arrived today...

...from my endocrinologist. I now have a team of doctors all concerned with getting me healthy and pregnant. No, I don't EVER do anything the normal way! hehe :P

To summarise, the letter details my medical history and medications and gives a very nice account of my meeting with the Endo two days ago. It lets all my doctors know the direction my treatment is taking, and recommends formally that I get a CGM (continuous glucose monitor) and insulin pump. Scary! And also exciting. Feels great to know that I'm finally getting some progress with this.

But it's still not nice to have the words "The problem is that the blood glucose two hours after her meal varies extremely from hypo values of 2.2 to elevations of 17, not clearly related to meal composition, time of day or exercise level." *sigh*

So this is not a post I was expecting to write, but I am overall quite happy that my Endo is being proactive and organising all my various doctors to get them all on the same page.

It's quite weird in that all my doctors are quite optimistic and happy to help, but when I try to bring up the topics of IVF, or my diabetes treatment (especially the idea of an insulin pump) with my hubby or family, they are a bit non-responsive and quiet. I keep waiting for them to be interested, or maybe happy that I want to have kids, (and hubby is, to an extent) but I know that this will be a shit-load of work over the coming months/years so I want to really know that they understand and agree. I can't imagine doing this without their support.

It was only when I read on an IVF forum (sorry, can't remember exactly where) that some people - strike that - a lot of people feel like they need to grieve when they're told that they need IVF that I started to understand my families reaction. They don't see this as another medical thing like I see it, another hurdle to cross. They see it as proof that I may not be able ever to have kids. So they are sad for me. They know that IVF is not easy, and they don't want me to have to go through that. But I'm not sad, not really. A bit put out that I have to go to all this work, and sure, it's uncomfortable knowing that I have this big "secret" that I can't talk to my mates at work about - it's not something suitable to talk about over morning coffee! But not sad. Maybe I'm in denial? :P

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