Thursday, April 15, 2010

Why I'm writing this blog

So I thought I would take a moment and let you know why I'm writing this blog, when there are hundreds and hundreds of others out there.

I've just started with all this, and the sheer amount of information related to "infertility" and "ivf" is overwhelming. Where should I start looking?

Plus, I have not yet found a single blog that deals with the same issues my husband and I face: age difference, vasectomy, IVF, and type 1 diabetes. There are some fabulous blogs out there about most of these topics, but none explaining how to pull it all together. I guess I will write in the hope that it may help someone else who is dealing with the same stuff.

I also just want to chronicle all this for my own personal interest. I have tried in the past to keep a written journal and failed miserably every time. Here's hoping that the added incentive of an audience will inspire me to keep writing!

As an aside: I had never stopped to consider that we were an infertile couple. My husband has 3 wonderful kids (feels like 7 when they start making noise!), and there is no reason to suspect anything is wrong with me. It's just that vasectomy. It's not "infertility" when it's self-inflicted, is it? Apparently, yes. That's what my ob/gyn says anyway, and he's a trustworthy sort of fellow.

Another aside: Sometimes it really bothers me that a decision made in a previous marriage can affect me so physically and deeply. It's life-changing, knowing you cannot possibly have a child without "assistance". But that's life and I just have to get on with it.

I have heaps of things to write about, so I hope you will find reading it useful. Stay tuned.


  1. Hi,

    It is amazing to discover that one is not alone in the world and facing challenges alone.

    I am 28, live in South Africa, and married for 4 years to my husband aged 42, who has 2 boys from a previous marriage, and who, has also had a vasectomy shortly after the 2nd boy was born. We have been together for almost 10 years.

    About 5 years ago my husband had a vasectomy refersal (vaso-vasostomy), which was, to my saddest dismay, not a success, as he has a 0 sperm count.

    Our only option to conceive a child of our own will be ICSI with IVF. This process are, however, very expensive in South Africa and our medical aid insurance does not cover fertility treatment. A single treatment costs approximately R50 000.00 (South African Rand) (I do not know the exchange rate for New Zealand).

    We are now saving to hopefully have the procedures done early next year, but this only adds to my concern that time is not on our side.

    I wish you strength through your journey and will look in on your posts as they have inspired me to keep faith in my situation.


  2. Hi Anj,

    Thank you for writing, it's always comforting to hear that other folks out there have a little understanding of what is happening to you. I had never suspected that anyone would have such a similar situation to me! I can't explain how much that means to me. Sad to hear about the vasectomy reversal not working out, I hope you can have more success if you decide to go with IVF. I am quite nervous about the whole thing. I had never expected in my life that I would need IVF. So that in itself is a bit of a shock.

    Best of luck in your journey, good wishes to your and your family. :)

    And if you would like to correspond by email, please don't hesitate to write to thekaitakeblog at gmail dot com. Could be helpful for both of us? :)

  3. Hi,

    Same here. I always believed that having children would be one of the most natural happenings in my life. But choosing between love for the rest of your life and the possibility of maybe having children, never occurred to me.

    I have made up my mind to not give up on my dream to have children and to keep on trying altough the situation seems difficult at present.

    Will certainly write to you...


  4. Hi Anj,

    I think you have it in a nutshell. It's an impossible decision, and I know it drove me nuts for over a year. I felt guilty and sad and alone and it was only when I finally talked to my husband about it did I realise that I did not have to try and justify my desire to have kids. It's perfectly natural. I just happened to be in a not-so-perfect situation.

  5. Thanks for your comment on my latest blog post. I just came over and read up on some of your posts. Have you seen/added your blog to the blogroll at She lists many infertility blogs (including diabetes ones) as well as those by procedure, so you may find some kindred spirits over there who are also dealing with vasectomy reversals.

    Good luck with everything!